10 Things We Want This Week, Headlined by the New Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Calendar
10. Sports Illustrated Swimsuit 2013 Calendar, $16.99
Start your day with Kate Upton, Cintia Dicker, Irina Shayk, Alyssa Miller, Jessica Gomes, and cover girl Chrissy Teigen. I can think of worse things to start the day. (Alarm clocks, roosters, and screaming ex-girlfriends immediately come to mind.)
9. Literature-Inspired Fine Art Prints, $24.00
Specifically, the Hunter S. Thompson and Ernest Hemingway prints. Thompson's is a super cool illustration of pigs dressed as humans, with his famous quote “In a nation ruled by swine, all pigs are upward-mobile” accompanying it. Hemingway's print [above] should be required to hang beside whichever desk you write. Come to think of it, it's not bad advice for 2 a.m. text messages either.
8. Adidas Originals Tech Street, $110
These are willlld. A little out there, but a great looking concept shoe. Called the Tech Street Mids, these kicks take obvious inspiration from the Adidas mid-top basketball styles from the mid-90s, only this new style has a definite futuristic flair unlike anything else out there. We're big fans, even if this is just '90s nostalgia talking.
The Tech Street Mids come both in the Aluminum/Lab Green colorway seen above and in a predominately black makeup. And you'll be able to snag them very soon—as in tomorrow, if you're lucky enough to be near one of the select retailers carrying them.
7. Legal Moonshine! $40
If you were lucky enough to grow up in the South, you may have sipped, from time to time, the firewater of the gods known as moonshine. Well, now you can have it without having to use a bathtub for distillation (or running the risk of going blind).
Ole Smoky Moonshine is the first moonshine to legally come from the state of Tennessee. It comes in five flavors: apple pie, peach, neutral, blackberry, and original flavor. Personal experience says that apple pie will probably be the way to go (seriously, don't knock it 'till you try it), but the other flavors might be worth a look as well. And as with any moonshine, it'll just knock you on your ass with the alcohol content.
6. FIFA '13, $60
One of the rare sports games that always goes way above just a roster update, FIFA '13 promises improved controls, new single player, new multiplayer, and a fantasy league (which was cruely stripped from Madden this year). Oh yeah, and improved graphics. Look at those pretty graphics. Hours of entertainment just looking at those graphics.
5. Belt Buckle that Holds Your Beer, $30
I'll let Bro Jackson take this one away:
I saw this on Shark Tank recently and it is genius. The inventor found a way to capitalize on two things hillbillies love: belt buckle fashion and beer. Every good 'ol boy will be donning one of these retractable buckles by year end. Admit it, even if you don't want to wear a belt buckle, you know you'd like to have this thing for at least one night. You can buy your very own at BevBuckle.
I want it now.
4. The Vampire Combat Manual, $10.98
Look, we spent all summer warning you about the dangers of the undead. Do you remember? The zombie apocalypse? It was a heady time—and by that I mean there were two months when you could literally get your head eaten off.
Unfortunately most of warnings we gave were against the zombie brand of the undead. That's why this guide, the Vampire Combat Manual, is going to be a useful tool for any upcoming vampire apocalypses. It contains sections on how to kill that which has no life by crafting deadly weapons on the spot, forming team-based attacks, and using the sun to your advantage. It should be enough to protect yourself in case Twilight ever becomes non-fiction. (NOTE: Do not practice the tactics against Twilight fans. Grounds for murder in some states.)
3. The Inebriator, a Robot Bartender, Price TBD
This is what the Jetsons was about, right? Isn't this the future we've all been working so hard for? Fucking robot bartenders, man. Fucking robot bartenders.
2. Shaped Air Mattress, $25
So simple, yet so brilliant. If you've ever found yourself having to spend a night in a car—hey, the economy sucks, it's understandable—this inflatable bed will turn your backseat into a comfy nest. It eliminates the seatbelts jabbing into you, the limited space, the trash bags in your face. This is really smart.
The only downside? It's currently only being sold by some Chinese website and I guess it's only being marketed to large retailers, because it requires a minimum order of 500 beds. There may be a start-up opportunity here.
1. Audi R8 V10 Spyder, $162,000
And we end, as always, with the aspirational pick of the day. Today's is the new Audi Spyder, a sexy little number that hits 0-60 in 4.1 seconds. This car inspires awe—and possible arousal—in anyone who drives it. I'm not kidding about the possible arousal—Gear Patrol's write-up of the car is like a deleted scene from “50 Shades of Grey.” It's great:
Okay, so German supercars are nothing new. The BMW M1. The Mercedes-McLaren SLR. The Mercedes SLS AMG GT. But Audi? Well, if you consider Audi’s stellar Le Mans victories, as well as their spectacular S and RS models, there’s little doubt the boffins in Ingolstadt possess the technological know-how to make an ultra-quick automobile. And though the R8 road car utilizes the R8 Le Mans car nomenclature, the two are connected only by name. The power, however, is bottomless, and the fact that all four wheels chomp at the asphalt makes the R8 V10 the definition of composed fury.
Even though the R8 defies the conventional supercar, it easily has the chops to contend. The Lamborghini Gallardo sourced V10 engine is naturally aspirated, avoiding the whizzbangery of forced induction (turbos). Output is a healthy 525 horsepower, driving the Quattro system via a proper and gated six-speed manual transmission, hauling the Spyder from 0-60 in 4.1 seconds. It feels even faster. In fact, the R8 V10′s 391 lb-ft of torque are immediate, near instant, without utterly frightening you. The clutch is smooth and the action of the wonderful gated shifter is quick and precise. Kudos to Audi for not killing the manual option.
See something cool to include in a future column? Shoot me an email: email@example.com.