A Belated, Whipped Cream-Covered Hottie Index
Editor's Note: Mr. T sent this in on Friday, but your fair editor dropped the ball. Sorry about that. Better late than never.
5. Rachel Uchitel
It's been a while since Uchitel was relevant. The Tiger Woods scandal has stayed alive as he continues to get questioned about his antics, but it seemed like Uchitel's 15 minutes of fame were up. Apparently not… There was a feud in this press this week when Uchitel decided to appear on “Celebrity Rehab” instead of “Celebrity Apprentice.” The Donald defend his show in the papers, saying that it didn't really want Uchitel in the first place. I'm not sure if Uchitel will save “Celebrity Rehab's” falling ratings as some expect, but at least she looks good in a bikini.
Next week marks the premiere of season 2 of “Jersey Shore,” so I know we're all excited about that. JWoww prepared for the premiere by posing for Maxim (somehow her bellybutton ring disappeared) to help push the popularity of the show. I know this is probably photoshopped, but sometimes she cleans up pretty well. It's like when she went on MTV on New Year's Eve and didn't look like the piece of trash we see on the show most of the time. The benefit is that she'll basically do anything, including biting your dick off if you were ever to get her in the sack and that's kinda exciting.
3. Christina Hendricks
Season 4 of Mad Men debuts on Sunday and there's never a bad reason to show off Christina Hendrick's cannons. Man, those things are big.
2. Jennie Finch
It was a sad day in the softball world this week when Jennie announced she'd be retiring from softball. She's stepping away from the game to pop out more kids. Who knows if we'll ever see Jennie again, but hopefully we will since her husband surely didn't bring in the bacon as a minor league baseball player. Get her on TV somewhere. Anywhere! This can't be the last time she's relevant.
1. Ali Larter
Everyone remembers watching “Varsity Blues” and the scene with Ali Larter strolling into the living room with a whipped-cream bikini. It was a thing of beauty. Now she's knocked up and may never have the same figure again. At least we'll always have the memory, the movie on DVD, and a box of tissues to make us feel better.