Can Someone Hand A Moist Towelette To This Couple Who Was Filmed Having Sex On A Brazilian Hilltop?

Nature sex is the best sex. I am completely qualified to say this because I’ve had sexual intercourse WITH A GIRL during a hike on the Appalachian Trail. Hold up, let me pump my own tires.

Anyhoo, the raw primitiveness of slapping skins outdoors adds a flair that made me forget that a scorpion crawled into my buttcrack. I’m pretty sure I smeared berry juice on my face and started banging my chest like Tarzan. I was choking on a bug.

Bottom line is that having to deal with red ants nipping at your family jewels is enough to worry about, add a webcam filming your uninspired thrusting and your willy has about as much of a chance at standing up as Steven Hawking does on a surfboard.

That’s why I commend the Brazilian couple who didn’t stop doing the old horizontal bop after being sniped by the webcam of a paraglider looking to land his glorified kite.

Check out the footage below.

According to LADbible, the paragliding snitch just had to play buzz kill. Says Brazilian Police chief Cesar Luiz Danuns:

“I began to receive calls and text messages on my mobile phone to say there was a couple having sex and I sent a patrol car to go and investigate.They were asked to stop and did so without saying a word. They were asked to put their clothes on before being taken to the station.”

No one likes a snitch.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.