For work-related reasons only — I SWEAR — I’m on the Fleshlight press mailing list. This means that sometimes on lazy August Thursday afternoons when there’s not much going on, e-mails with subjects like this end up at the top of my inbox:
Bros, who the hell am I to ignore HISTORY?! Especially when that history involves BroBible fav Lisa Ann and Fleshlights and something being touted as the “first Interactive live show.”
Apparently the retired adult film star — who is currently the subject of a White House petition to return to the biz — is teaming up with Fleshlight for a product called the KIIROO Onyx, “the world’s most advanced Teledildonic masturbator.” According to the literature on Amazon, “in short, you can truly feel your partner’s touch, in real-time, all over the world.”
A KIIROO Onyx costs $250 over at Amazon. You can get the couples package that includes a toy for your girl for $350. But we’re not here to write about futuristic sex toys George Jetson could use on Jane from the office. We’re talking about Lisa Ann, Bros. Because apparently she’s giving a “free” show to the owners of these things. Via the Press Release on HISTORY being made:
Multi-award winning adult performer Lisa Ann will make webcam and pornographic history when she delivers an exclusive live, interactive show onFlirt4Free.com. The industry legend’s debut appearance as a Fleshlight CamStar™ is the result of the popular adult chat site teaming up with Interactive Life Forms, the sex toy giant responsible for the globally top-selling Fleshlight®, as well as interactive sex device innovators, Kiiroo. At 5pm EST on October 21, fans will be able to engage in a virtual sex experience with Lisa Ann herself.
Lisa Ann is a longtime spearhead of the adult entertainment industry, in spite of her official retirement in 2014. The bombshell, best known for parodying Sarah Palin in “Who’s Nailin’ Paylin”, will now allow her immense fanbase to virtually “feel” her via the wonders of the internet. As she plays with herself using her Kiiroo Pearl vibrator, fans will feel her every movement in real time via their partner device, the Kiiroo Onyx male masturbator. Inside Onyx is a patented system of contracting rings cushioned by a tailor-made Fleshlight® SuperSkin™ sleeve, designed to mimic the feeling of real penetrative sex without the user needing to move a muscle. In this unique instance, Lisa Ann will control every pull and thrust felt by her fans. A limited Lisa Ann edition of the Onyx device can be purchased for the occasion.
Just think… You’ll be able to “engage” in a “virtual sex experience with Lisa Ann herself” while thousands of horny dudes around the world are doing the exact same thing. What a weird, Futurama-esque world we live in.