Come See How You Rate Against Your Fellow Man In How Quickly You Ejaculate

By 11.11.16

Does your gun go off before you pull the trigger? Do you have to recite the 1989 Oakland Athletics roster during sex in order to last more than 37 seconds (Carney Lansford was such an underrated player for them that year)? Well, let’s see how your ejaculation time rates with your fellow man.

AskMen teamed up with Pornhub and surveyed over 4,000 men to find out the all-important and technical question of “How long does it take guys to bust a nut?”

When it comes to masturbating, 46% of men say they take 10 to 15 minutes to spray their glue gun. What’s your hurry? Jeez, haven’t you guys ever heard of edging? However, dudes who used a Fleshlight or other sex toy said they blow their load in a few minutes or even less. That’s called “efficiency.”

When it comes to sex with a real, live woman, which I hear is supposed to be amazing, 44% of guys said they manblast at precisely the right time. And really, is there actually a wrong time not to make jizzies? Except ejaculating in the pillow section of a Bed, Bath & Beyond, that is said to be public indecency and is a class 3 misdemeanor which comes with a pretty stiff fine. My friend told me.

There were 39% of participants who were minute men and felt as though they spilled their man milk too fast. But don’t fret premature ejaculators, women aren’t assholes like us guys because 53% of men said their partners never shamed them for their quick sex sesh no matter how miserably unsatisfied you left them and every day they fight the urge to go on Tinder to find a real mad who can pleasure them longer than the commercials at the beginning of a YouTube video where you can hit “Skip Ad.”

What? Was that premature ejaculation joke too soon?


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