Johnny Manziel’s Sister Meri Is Hot If You Ignore The Fact That She Looks Like Johnny Manziel With Long Hair

Sisters are weird, man. Once you know the guy version of them, its tough to differentiate the two. Some of my friends’ sisters are objectively attractive but I can’t help seeing my neanderthal buddy in them. Like hey, you’re Christina, but you’re also kind of Peter–the dude who shit his pants on prom night. It’s like mayo in my sandwich. If I see one smear of that white shit, I’m throwing the entire hoagie out, homie.

That’s kind of where I’m at with Johnny Manziel’s sister, Meri. Yes, she is hot, but she is also kinda Johnny. It’s hard to unsee. Would I cross oceans to go on a date with her? Yes. But I also pay $9.99 a month for Tinder premium.

What do you broz think?

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.