In my eighth grade history class, I got in a war of words with the biggest asshat in the grade. The dude was a total piece of shit. After we threw a couple JV insults back and forth, he sent the class into hysterics when he said: “You look like your mom drank while you were in the womb.” I was utterly defeated, nearly ruined, thought about it in the shower for weeks. My anger washed away when I realized one important life lesson: sometimes, no matter how much it pains you, the move is to tip your cap, and admit when your sworn enemy has dropped hot fire.
I get that same sensation when calling attention to the Kardashians. Yes they all can be attention mongering and self-important, but I rationalize it with this: I have the most respect for Kourtney because she’s the only Kardashian who isn’t seemingly made of plastic and hasn’t traded her face in for a new one multiple times. Khloe has deviated from her God given face so many times I’m honestly convinced that in the year 2020, we’re going to have a difficult time telling her and Don Cheadle apart. Add another +1 for Kourtney because she’s mated with Lord Disick, which proves she is a great judge of character. And she has a nice butt. SO BEFORE YOU NAIL ME TO THE CROSS, TELL ME THIS ISN’T HOT.
Look me in my face and tell me it’s not hot. Just don’t tell me I look like a fetal alcohol baby. I’m not built for more abuse.