Legal Prostitute On Vegas’ Bunny Ranch Offers A ‘Grab Them By The P*ssy’ Special To Celebrate Trump’s Election
No matter what your thoughts are on the direction of this country going forward, I think we can all agree on one thing: sex is fun. It’s fun today, it’ll be fun tomorrow. The enjoyment of sex is immune to the issues that divide our country: wealth, race, climate change. Sex’s only kryptonite is whiskey. And diarrhea. When you have to hold it in on both ends, it just becomes more of a chore than an enjoyment.
An intrepid sex worker at the famous the Bunny Ranch in Carson City, Nevada (the one Lamar Odom overdosed in) saw a business opportunity in the flood of emotions, good or bad, that Americans are overcome with following Donald Trump becoming the President elect.
Harley Lane is a 19-year-old from Texas who describes herself as a “5-foot-1-inch tornado of Texas Fun!” Here’s Harley experiencing a slight wardrobe malfunction:
Harley posted to the blog Bunny Ranch offering Americans the “Grab Them By The Pussy” special. Nice Harley. Nice.
In celebration of Trumps groundbreaking presidential win, I’m offering my clients a “Grab Them By The Pussy” price discount for the entire month of November to customers who show me their “I Voted” sticker. No matter who you voted for, I will slash prices in half because you did your part and contributed to the democratic process of the United States. Clinton supporters can be consoled by my tender touch, while Trump supporters can, as The Donald would say, “move on me like a bitch” as they join me in reveling in our victory with a night of sexy-hot fun!
What can be better than having great sex to commemorate this historic election, as we begin to Make America Great Again! Now everyone can feel what it’s like to be a famous celebrity like President Trump, and do anything you want to me, including grabbing me by the pussy!
I’m no math major, but 50% off is almost half, and that seems like a bargain. Let me check Orbitz for cheap flight to Vegas right quick.