10 Photos That Prove Taylor Swift Eats Babies

by 2 years ago  •  4 Comments

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Before we go any further, you need to know I am an unabashed fan of Taylor Swift.

I’m listening to 1989 as I write this, and I think she’s simply fantastic. I think a lot about her, actually.

Often times, my mind wanders to how she become so successful. An out-of-nowhere, gangly country teen becoming the world’s biggest and sexiest pop star?

Doesn’t add up. There’s got to be something more to it. Something darker. Something sinister. A deal with the devil? The CIA? Then, it dawned on me. Taylor Swift derives her strength, power, sex, and popularity from devouring babies. Right after they are born.

Exactly. What else could it be? The iron rich blood, the skin that’s never touched sunlight, all those stem cells. She consumes it all. Don’t believe me? Look at her Instagram account.

1. “DAN, JUST GIVE ME YOUR GOD DAMN BABY”

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2. “THE BABIES NOURISH MY SOUL.” 

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3. “MY CONSUMPTION OF YOU WILL HELP ME MAINTAIN MY DOMINANCE.” 

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4. “I WILL EAT YOU NOW IF I HAVE TO”

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5. “DON’T THINK I WON’T EAT YOU EITHER.”

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6. “SEE, JUST LIKE THIS. I CRACK THE SKULL THEN PICK THE BRAINS OUT WITH CHOPSTICKS.” 

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7. “I SEE YOU OVER THERE … BABY. I LICK MY LIPS THINKING ABOUT EATING YOU.”

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8. “I WANT BABY. BABY BABBY BAYBE” 

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9. “COME PLAY WITH MY BUBBLES, BABY. I WON’T EAT YOU. HA HA. YES I WILL.”

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10. Seriously, guys. Just look at her.

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That is the face of a baby eater.

[All images via Taylor Swift, a baby eater]


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