Tara Reid Posted The Greatest Naked Vine In The History Of America Last Night

Man, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to tell you. If you weren’t on the internet last night from midnight to 12:30 a.m., you missed one of the greatest Vines/Instagrams/Twitpics in American history. It’s now gone, but don’t worry. We have screen grabs.

It shocked. It appalled. It was beautiful and sexy if you love Tara Reid like I do.

Some back story. Two days ago, Tara Reid shared this Instagram picture, which showed her tattoo makeup for a role. Didn’t say which, but I assume it’s Sharknado 3, since I doubt she’s been cast anywhere else.


 
It is Tara Reid in primo meth mode. Call me crazy, but I find that hot. Neck tats, hand tats, face tats. The gaunt, sunken face. All of it. She liked it so much that last night, she bared all on Instagram. It was immediately taken down. But thanks to the magic of screenshots, here’s what it would look like to make love to a completely cracked out Tara Reid, if she’d been born in Tucson, Arizona and worked at a diner instead of, say, made it big with American Pie.

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God. Those tats around her eyes. That hand rose. Who wouldn’t want that? She followed it up with a Vine, also since removed, of her holding her breasts and bouncing about, exclaiming “Look at my tattoos.” It was wonderful. And judging by my Twitter feed after I shared it, grossed everyone out.

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I am sad, too, Jeremy. I am sad that it is gone, and the world no longer gets to regale in it. Farewell.

Here’s that image one last time. God bless Tara.

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