13 things we’ll miss most about Sbarro
Sad news bros, Sbarro filed for Chapter 11 today. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and reminisce about some of our favorite things from America’s greatest pizza place.
13. Because you were Michael Scott’s favorite New York slice
12. Because your baked ziti cured my constipation
11. Because your overpriced slice was there for me countless times before jumping on a cross-country flight
10. Because this girl named one of her boobs after you
9. Because you gave senior citizens an Italian alternative to Olive Garden
8. Because you held strong when everyone else gave up on stromboli
7. Because I’m pretty sure you gave this girl her first “O-face”
6. Because when my wife went on a shopping mall binge, you were there for me
5. Because you were the perfect place to go after this girl finished yoga
4. Because I could sometimes shape your pizza into a penis
3. Because the Arab Spring didn’t stop you from serving your tasty slice
2. Actually, this isn’t about Sbarro. That girl’s eyes though.
1. Above all, your stuffed pizza is responsible for at least one of my heart attacks and two nasty bouts of indigestion and actually Sbarro, I hate you