7 annoying things on women’s online dating profiles

By 05.14.12
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When perusing the ladies’ dating profiles guys will often come across things they don’t like that broadcast a lack of originality among other less than desirable attributes. These things can be worth laughing at or they can just be incredibly annoying. A lot of these examples could easily be on men’s profiles as well, but since I’m straight (‘Murica!), I don’t tend to see the ridiculous things guys display to the female population. What are your dating profile pet peeves?

So, let me get this straight: You can have fun when you’re out? You can also have fun when staying in? Me too! Omgsoulmatemarriagebabiesforever.

Does it seem to you like every other woman on a dating site thinks she’s Liz Lemon from 30 Rock? We get it: Liz is cute but awkward, successful yet imperfect, sexy yet self-deprecating. But no one is quite like her (no, not even Tina Fey) and if you say you totally are, then you’re just trying to be.

Annnd you just wasted both of our time. If you don’t know the real you well enough to express yourself (even when you have the time to sit down and type it out) then you may just attract someone who doesn’t know how to do it either. Instead of saying you don’t know what to write, just list some of your likes and dislikes. Either that, or make sure you have some awesome shots of the “cleave” so the less discerning men will get distracted and message you anyway.

When I hear someone talk about how important it is to be laid back and that they’re looking for someone super easy going I imagine a couple of brain-deads who have no opinions, avoid dealing with problems and refrain from putting real heart or passion into anything. All because they’re way too “laid back” to give a sweet damn, right?

Okay, obviously you’re someone who has attracted or created so much drama in your life that you feel the need to say you don’t want any more of it right off the bat. Your hotness had best outweigh your craziness.

Any woman who feels the need to express this loves the idea of being swept off her feet, overcome by love and never looking back. What she doesn’t realize is that compatibility, intimacy and companionship are far more important to long-lasting love than infatuation, passion and fantasy fulfillment are. Plus, princes and princesses are usually dicks.

Show us a pic of yourself doing something cool, not a pic of your face smashed into your friend’s faces with drinks raised up while your purse your lips into duck face and all bend your knees group shot sorority-style and we can’t even tell which one is actually you because you all have the same make-up on. Okay, I’m gonna take a breath now.

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