Have you ever wanted to achieve the effects of drinking liquor, but you were just in the mood for a beer? If you know what I’m talking about, then put down your ice beer, because it’s time to take a look at a handful of insane brews made by insane brewers that wield the brewing power necessary to crack Guinness world records, take massive amounts of your money and leave you black out drunk.
7. The Bruery’s Autumn Maple
Let’s start off comparatively light; though this beer’s ABV isn’t crazy high, it’s high enough and delicious enough that it deserves a mention. The Bruery’s Autumn Maple is brewed with cinnamon, nutmeg, vanilla, sweet potatoes, allspice, molasses and maple syrup for a strong, spicy brew that tastes like Thanksgiving dessert. Now that you’re warmed up, let’s get a little frisky…
ABV: 10%
6. Sam Adams’ Utopia
Sweet, fiery, rich and viscous, Sam Adam’s Utopia is a costly brew that comes in a gorgeous bottle fit for a drunken king.
ABV: 29%
5. BrewDog’s Tactical Nuclear Penguin
BrewDog has only been around since 2007, but this Scottish brewery has made great strides to create craft beers that are truly unique. Their Tactical Nuclear Penguin is a fragrant, dark brown and thick-bodied ice beer with notes of roasted coffee and chocolate. At the time of its release (2009), it was the strongest beer ever produced, competing head-to-head with German brewer Schorschbrau. And it cost $180 for just a single bottle. No kidding.
ABV: 32%
4. Struise’s Black Damnation VI – Messy
This beer has a complex name and an even more complex profile. It has been described as tasting smoky, bitter, malty and roasted with distinct licorice, chocolate and coffee flavors. It pours out pitch black with only a small froth of head.
ABV: 39%
3. BrewDog’s End of History
BrewDog’s End of History varietal was made in a batch of just 11 bottles for $765 each. And each bottle came inside a motherfucking taxidermy squirrel. I don’t usually use that word, but hey – taxidermy squirrel.
ABV: 55%
2. Schorschbrau’s Schorschbock 57% Finis Coronat Opus
And now we come to Schorschbrau, who came back at BrewDog with a brew that beat out End of History by almost 3%. This rare beer was made in a limited batch of 36 bottles, each of which contains several servings, altogether equaling 1730 calories, so you can get drunk and full.
ABV: 57.7%
1. Brewmeister’s Armageddon
At 10 times stronger than the average beer, Scottish Brewmeister Brewery packs a grim wallop with Armageddon, their flagship alcoholic elixir. It costs about $127 per bottle, but since it’s a beer for special occasions, who can really put a price on it?
ABV: 65%
(Previously published on November 5, 2013.)
Beer bottle image by Shutterstock
Bruery’s Autumn Maple image: The Bruery
Struise’s Black Damnation VI image: Bernt Rostad, Flickr
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