Ah, stoners. You come in many shapes, sizes and colors and yet we all seem to have the same couch-napping, Five Guys-craving expectations for you. Stoners are known for a lot of things, but here are some of the best things they do. What’s the best or funniest thing your stoner friends do?
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7 They have amazing suggestions for food combinations
“A Gordita stuffed inside of a Chalupa? French toast grilled cheese sandwiches? You’ve got to be shitting me, that sounds amazing!”
If that sounds familiar, then you know a stoner who is always dreaming up innovative new ways to gain weight. Hell, who do you think came up with the KFC Double Down or the Doritos Locos Taco? A marketing team that had just gotten high as fuck, that’s who.
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6 They stay quiet
Sometimes stoners will take their one massive hit, exhale and then their eyes will roll up into their head. Then, you won’t hear from them for weeks (even though they’re also your roommate). And that’s okay because sometimes it’s cool to have some peace and quiet, a silent understanding or just a retreat into that wacky stoner dreamland where light becomes color, candy becomes currency and friends are defined by their ability to communicate telepathically.
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5 They’ve got great DVD collections
Half-Baked, How High, Dana Carvey stand-ups, Animaniacs, Chapelle’s Show, Jim Bruer stand-ups, Grandma’s Boy, and Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back are just some of the viewing material you can bet your stoner friend has laying around ready to provide entertainment at a moment’s notice.
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4 They have cool revelations
Whoa, dude, I did not know that the word “web” backwards is “bew” which can be strung together three times to sound like laser guns firing. THAT. IS. FASCINATING.
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3 They get really productive
Stoners are known for sitting on futons, eating ludicrous amounts of snack chips and generally being wastes of life, but did you know that some stoners get really amped up for housework when they’re high? No one sweeps, does dishes or shops for a new kitchen at Home Depot the way someone who just got stoned does.
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2 They get really creative
Just like some stoners can get a great workout in or a good session of gardening, others are flowing with creative energy. They’re writing, composing, drawing and designing up a storm all while their sober friends are planning weddings, paying bills, going to their jobs and other lame activities.
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1 They give us incredible memes
I’m talking to you High Guy. You’re the best.
Photo credit: MemeBase.com