Breathometer will get you drunker than ever
Breathometer is a new $20 attachment that turns your phone into personal breathalyzer. Now that’s a cheap blow job.
In the past, failing a breath test meant one of two things – either you’re going to jail or you have a friend willing to drop $100 on an alcoholic’s toy. I’ve used both a cop’s and a friend’s breathalyzer, and I can tell you that the latter is much more enjoyable. No matter how many pennies you put in your mouth, the police version is terrifying. Your friend’s, one the other hand, is just a fun game.
Owning one of these is a terrible idea. Sure, there are plenty of good and responsible reasons to have one. You won’t use it for those purposes though. I’ve never gotten in a car and thought, “If I knew for a fact that I was drunk, I wouldn’t drive right now. There’s absolutely no way for me to tell though, so I’ll go ahead and take off.” Instead, we used it for things like “who can get the drunkest.” We were so irresponsible that we actually awarded a bottle of champagne to whichever girl at football pre-games blew the highest. What can I say, not everyone at Michigan is smart.
The Breathometer will also keep track of your previous readings, which can only lead to people seeking a high-score. Who wouldn’t want to see their initials at the top of the list of school’s best drinkers? If you want to set the new record, you can sign up for early access on their website.