Guy pulls greatest ‘dick move’ of all time to spite little kid at Burger King

This little kid sounds a like a real treat.

A man in line at Burger King, standing in front of a young child screaming “I WANT PIE!”, decided to screw with the little bastard because kids should never get everything they want in life. Especially when they sound like the second-coming of the anti-Christ.

Here’s the man’s story:

So a while ago I had decided to treat myself and go to Burger King. I hadn’t had the greatest of days and I had a headache coming on. It was a very long line and I was at the end of it waiting patiently. When behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child. This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a gameboy whenever something didn’t go right in the game. The mother didn’t seem to pay any attention to him and his continued yelling of ‘I want a Fucking PIE’. After about 5 minutes of the line with these people behind me, I had gone from a headache to a full on migraine, but nothing was going to stop me from getting those burgers. I calmly turn and ask her nicely if she can please calm or quiet her child down. Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can’t tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business. I nod and turn around, shes still yelling at the back of my head when the child cries out again how he wants a pie, the mother consoles him, calling him sweety and ensuring they’ll get pies for lunch because she loves him so much. Things immediately go back to the they were and I wait another 5 minutes before getting to the front of the line. It turns out it was so slow because they had 1 trainee on cash during the lunch hour rush. All I can think of is how the people behind me ruined my splurge and gave me this headache. I then decide to ruin their day. I order every pie they have left in addition to my burgers. Turned out to be 23 pies in total, I take my order and walk towards the exit. Moments later I hear the woman yelling, what do you mean you don’t have any pies left, who bought them all? I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare. I stand there and pull out a pie and slowly start eating eat as I stare back at her. She starts running towards me but can’t get to me because of other lineups in the food court. I turn and slowly walk away.

If the kid is referring to the Hershey’s Sundae Pie, they’re delicious, and I totally understand his craving. If this guy bought 23 of those pies, and ate them all, he’s looking at over 7,000 calories and 506 grams of sugar. That’s enough to put a man into a sugar coma. He’d probably forget all about his migraine.

In the kid’s defense, I always yell “I WANT A FUCKING PIE” in line at Burger King. It’s just to remind myself what to order when it’s my turn. I’m always so flustered and end up just blurting out stuff I don’t want. I once ordered thirty orders or those chicken sticks. I actually called them “those chicken sticks.”

[Eater via Reddit]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.