We can probably just call off the 2014 Crime of the Year race now
You don’t know Ronald Savoy of Lakewood, N.J. But you should. Because he’s simultaneously the greatest and most terrible man ever.
The story below, published by NJ.com, is a true tale of Savoy’s triumph in the face of adversity. By which I mean it must be really hard to get it up at a deli in front of a random woman and her your young son.
A kid’s got to learn how to jerk off to a footlong turkey club at some point. Where would we be without the helpful lessons from random men who get sexually aroused at sandwich shops?
UPDATE: A previous version of this story said that Savoy was the father of the boy in the sandwich shop. That was wrong. He’s just a dude allegedly jerking off in front of someone else’s kid. We greatly regret this error and clearly the actual story shows that Savoy’s a swell fellow.