8 things you shouldn’t do if you’re just dating casually

by 6 years ago
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calleecakes, Flickr

Like many guys, I would do a lot for a girlfriend. Why? Because if it's an exclusive, committed relationship were we depend and care about each other then effort is a must. On the other hand there are some things that unless we're doing more than dating casually, I'm just not going to do. Where do you draw the line? Right here.

There's nothing more I would love to do than hold your mittened hand and skate in tandem with you round and around in circles on a frozen oval with the most thrilling moment being when I inevitably bust my ass on the ice. That said, we're going to have to be in a relationship for me to engage in such a heart-flutteringly wonderful activity.

Unless you want to break out the Elmer's glue and do some macaroni art for the hell of it, decorating is a couples only job.

Unless it's in passing, there should not be a schedule meet ‘n greet with the 'rents before things are official. I don't know about you, but I'd prefer not to tell dad that we're "keeping our options open" or that she's my "Thursday."

With the availability of Netflix, Hulu, DVRs and Red Box, people are seeing movies out in the theaters less and less, myself included. So if you think I'm going to pay good money to sit through something that has to do with love, romance, dancing, singing, overcoming adversity or an unholy orgy of all these things combined, then we best be coupled up otherwise it ain't gonna happen.

There are more shows, more networks and more channels than ever, which means there’s more crap than ever on TV. I understand the concept of sharing the sacred remote control, but if I'm just your boy toy, there's no effing way I'm going to get roped into watching vacuous reality TV with you.

Unless there's some promise of a striptease in the dressing room or at the very least a really stellar sale on menswear, I'm not going to let myself get dragged around from store to store bored out of my skull waiting for salvation at the food court.

Hell no. Unless we’re officially together there's no way I am going to get dressed up and make soul shatteringly mundane small talk with everyone in your office, having to answer questions like "What do you do?", "Where did you meet?" and “Did you happen to see where the bottle of Absolut went?”

This isn’t even funny. The answer is no unless we’re completely and utterly exclusive. Then I will take you out so {verb undecided} that it will make your head spin.

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