The biggest problem with common spelling and grammar mistakes isn’t the fact that it makes written words a chore to read, but actually because it can make even the smartest person look like an idiot. No one (including this writer’s) grammar is 100% flawless, but pay attention anyway, class; here are some easy fixes for common spelling and grammar mistakes.
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Let’s start with an easy one: “A lot” means “very much," “alot” isn't a word at all, and “allot” means to distribute.
Example: You have only a certain “allotment” of the amount of times you are allowed to say “alot” until I punch you in the coccyx “a lot.”
“Allowed” is being permitted to, while “aloud” means out loud.
Example: Being “allowed” to punch you in the coccyx has inspired you to scream “aloud.”
What the actual eff is this all about? This misconception probably happens when someone hears “could've,” “would've,” or “should've” said aloud and then just regurgitates what it sounds like onto paper. No…bad Facebook commenter…bad.
Example: There's nothing they “could have” done about his “could’ve, would’ve, should’ve” attitude about the English language.
“Your,” means it is possessed by the person being spoken to. “You're” is a faster way to say “you are.”
Example: “Your” welcome. My welcome? No, “you’re” welcome. Oh, thanks! “Your” welcome.
“Then” has to do with time, while “than” is a comparison.
Example: Unless you want to do one after you do the other, you should say: “I’d rather watch some TV ‘than’ shave my face with a handful of barbed wire.”
“There” refers to a place, “their” refers to something that is owned and “they're” is a faster way of saying “they are.”
Example: You’d better tell them to pay attention to “their” grammar lessons over “there,” because as of now, “they’re” completely fucking up the language of my people.
“Bare” is without a covering or clothing, while “bear” refers to the animal or to support or to produce.
Example: That “bear’s” “bare” ass “bears” the weight of “bearing” some of the most un“bear”able farts in the entire animal kingdom.
Hint: one of these you want to eat and the other you do not.
The “desert” is that hot, dry place filled with sand, while “dessert” is a sweet slice or scoop or piece or unit of deliciousness.
Example: The only “dessert” to be found in this “desert” is a mouthful of semi-sweet cactus needles.
“Weather” refers to the outside temperature and conditions, while the word “whether” is similar to the word “if.”
Example: “Whether” or not the “weather” this weekend is influenced by praying for no rain, ima’ keep doing it for superstition’s sake.
“To” refers to going or directing toward a place, “too” means “also” and “two” is the number.
Example: Unless you want "to" get an epic, 1960’s era spanking, you "two" better shut your traps, "too."
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