Gnesa ‘Wilder’ is your song of the fall and winter and forever
Ever wonder what would happen if someone took the cultural phenomenon of Rebecca Black and mixed it with a rough sketch of Kim Kardashian’s looks? Wonder no more. This is Gnesa and her song ‘Wilder’ and it is the worst thing you’ll see today.
The best dancing is where you can literally see the person focusing on the choreography. And the definition of “choreography” they just learned on Dictionary.com.
This blue guy is living the furniture version of Backroom Casting Couch. “Is that Krysten? From Raymour and Flanigan? Oh my God, how did she end up doing this? She always seemed like she was destined for great things. Her parents must be so disappointed.”
The actual lyrics and beat of the song made me feel panicked and claustrophobic. My life temporarily felt like the coke scene in Goodfellas while listening to the part beginning at 0:30.
LA. LA LA LA LA LA. LAAAAA. LA L.
Production Assistant: “Let’s put this to a vote: Should we spend our budget on makeup for Gnesa’s entire face? Or just a lot of mascara and eyeliner and spend the rest on sandwiches?”
Room: “SANDWICHES! SANDWICHES!”
Production Assistant: “Damn right.”
I’d like to believe the estate of the guy who invented the Casio Drum Machine would forfeit all royalties and future profits after hearing this. To willfully keep cashing those checks would be like having a pension from working as a railroad engineer in 1940s Germany.
“Gnesa did an awesome impersonation of an Asian robot raccoon in one of the takes. Make sure that’s in the final edit.”
Oh. Good. Let’s present our sex symbol singer in a flattering light again. I know, let’s keep going back to the angle where you can see the ghosts of pimples from 2001. Perfect.
I’m not ruling out that this is the last thing we all see before we die.
You can follow Gnesa on Facebook if you want to track her meteoric rise.