The gym is a sacred place for many men. It is a place where we develop our muscles, get rid of our love handles and do a lot of other things with the general goal of trying to look good naked. Such a place requires rules and regs to provide us with the experience we’re looking for. Here are some guidelines for good etiquette at your local gym.
No one wants your creepy bodily fluids caressing them while they're trying to whale on their pecs. Wipe down before for your comfort, wipe down after for theirs.
Use one machine at a time, for a reasonable amount of time. I once knew a priest who would come to the gym and leave his sweaty towels on one machine, while he prayed and worked out on another one. It wasn't cool. Take a cue from the Lord and shareth thy machines.
How come as men get older, doughier and wrinklier, they lose their inhibitions and gain a love of full frontal nudity? When you get older, remember that while locker rooms can be a place to chat while you change, you should keep your parts from swinging around like fleshy pendulums.
If you're going to wear tight clothes, make sure you have the body for it. If you like to do elaborate stretching routines, make sure your shorts are long enough to cover up any errant body parts that are trying to see the light of day. Be mindful of what you wear, and your trip to the gym will be more comfortable for yourself and others.
There's gotta be some respect for those of us that come with a focused workout routine or cardio goal in mind. Don't taunt us by putting supposedly healthy sandwiches, muffins and shakes right in front of us.
You are not so hardcore that you have to scream every time you do a squat. That is all.
The gym is a place to work up a sweat, exercise your muscles and play some competitive sports. It's not a place to spend all day distracting other people from completing their work outs and loitering around the free weights, hoping some hottie will see the extra definition on whatever glamour muscles you've been working on.
The amount of hot tail in the gym is astounding. But, it makes sense. Here's a place where many fit people gather to move their bodies in ways that make them stronger and more attractive. However, if you're going to be staring at dat ass swinging back and forth on the elliptical, remember that there's a person attached to it who can probably see you gawking like a deviant pervert in the reflection of the TV they're facing.
Originally published on October 13, 2011.