Kevin Smith is doing ‘Clerks 3’ as a crowdsourced e-book
Is there any more embarrassingly dated 2012 headline than that? Warning, Opinions Ahead: I don’t like Kevin Smith. At all. Back in the 90s when Clerks and Mallrats came out he was pretty cool because he was one of us, you know? A half-ass Jersey dude who really loved movies and wanted to make one. But then he made a couple movies and basically turned into the worst person ever, all bragging about his hot wife to the New York Times and making increasingly worse motion pictures, finally hitting a nadir with Red State and Cop Out. And, real talk, Comic Book Men is the worst show to ever be on AMC.
Smith recently announced that he has one more movie in him before he retires, and that movie is Clerks 3. Nobody on Earth is going to say that Clerks 2 was any good, but at least it’ll bring him out the way he came in. But, as is to be expected, it’s not going to be that easy. Movies.com has an article that reports that Smith is first going to serialize the story as a monthly e-book with contributions from his fans. That way he can revise sections before the final screenplay, as well as have segments animated, recreated and otherwise changed.
So we’re basically talking a reverse Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup scenario here, with two awful tastes (Kevin Smith and fan fiction) making something that tastes even worse together. The only person less well-suited to write a good, funny movie than Kevin Smith is a Kevin Smith fan, and getting a ton of them together in one place is terrifying.
What do you think? Would you read a Clerks 3 book on your Kindle every month? How many chapters do you think he’ll get finished before the whole thing collapses in a sweaty heap?