How to make Oreo Cheesecake Cookies

by 4 years ago
Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Cookies can be boring, but that’s definitely not the case with these ridiculous Oreo Cheesecake Cookies. Diddy will never make you walk to Queens to get him a sugar cookie again.

It’s a sad day, folks. Oreo Absurdity Week is coming to an end. We’ve lived; we’ve laughed; we’ve loved, and most of all we’ve nearly killed ourselves with cookies. It was all worth it though. Today we keep it simple, relatively, with cheesecake cookies coated in Oreo crumbs.

Check out all of my crazy Oreo creations.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Who would have guessed that you could collect several of the least healthy foods on the planet, stir them in a bowl, and create the greatest cookie not sold by undersized females? All of you? Well you’re much smarter than I am.

The most amusing part of this process is when I realized I had fat free cream cheese. Who am I kidding with that? As if MEGA STUFFED! Oreos don’t more than account for any nutritional savings from the cream cheese.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

I don’t have useful kitchen gadgets like a rolling pin or a stand mixer. I only have stupid ones like the Ham Dogger and a Magic Bullet yet still managed to make award winning cookies. You can get by with a little bit of ingenuity and elbow grease. If you build it, they will come. Believe in the ball, and throw yourself. OUR INDEPENDENCE DAY!

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Here’s the thing, rolling dough around in crumbled Oreo cookies is a messy pain in the ass, but it’s absolutely necessary. They help hold everything together and make the cookies worth eating. I found that it helps if you say, “wheeeee!” while rolling them around as if you’re making it a fun game for the dough that’s about to be heated to death. It’s the least you can do to honor the cookie balls’ memory.

Colin Joliat

Colin Joliat


 

Unlike yesterday’s Cookies & Cream Oreo Brownies that seemed to take an eternitiy to bake, these cookies took a little over 15 minutes. That’s the sort of time commitment with which I’m comfortable. I can get a craving and within 30 minutes be eating absurdly good Oreo Cheesecake Cookies. It would have been even faster if I had that damn stand mixer instead of a rubber spatula.

The recipe came from Brown Eyed Baker and was the inspiration for Billy Joel’s song, “Just the Way You Are.”

Ingredients:

  • ½ cup unsalted butter, at room temperature
  • 3 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
  • 1 cup granulated sugar
  • 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • ½ cup mini chocolate chips
  • 1 cup Oreo cookie crumbs

Instructions:

  1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
  2. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and set aside.
  3. In a mixing bowl, cream together the butter and cream cheese on medium speed until smooth and well-combined.
  4. Realize you don’t own a mixer and get to stirring.
  5. Add the sugar and vanilla extract and mix until the ingredients are well-combined.
  6. Add the flour and mix on low until the flour is incorporated.
  7. Stir in the mini chocolate chips with a rubber spatula.
  8. Smash Oreos
  9. Place the Oreo cookie crumbs in a small bowl.
  10. Scoop the cookies into about 1½ to 2″ balls and then roll in the cookie crumbs.
  11. Place the cookie balls on the baking sheet.
  12. Bake for 12 to 15 minutes, or until the edges are golden and the tops are slightly puffed.
  13. Immediately bite one and burn your mouth.
  14. Call and apologize to your mother for being a disappointment.
  15. Cool on the pan for 2 minutes before transferring to a wire rack to cool completely.
  16. Store in an airtight container.

 

Check out more recipes from the Guyism Grill


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