Megan Fox will be in ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’

Paramount Pictures

What could make her want to work with Michael Bay again? I’m guessing a huge pile of money. Megan Fox, man. That’s a career that didn’t work out so well. For a little while she was the hottest girl in Hollywood, but then a swath of bombs (Jonah Hex, anyone?) basically put her earning prospects in the dumper. So what does a girl do when she needs to get back on top? Team up with Michael Bay again, of course.

Fox was fired from the Transformers franchise and replaced with Rosie Huntington-Whitley after she made comments to film magazine Wonderland comparing the director to Hitler. Reports from behind the scenes of those films also hint that Fox had some problems with Bay’s lascivious portrayal of women. So the two went their separate ways.

But now Bay has broken the news on his blog that all is forgiven and Fox will play April O’Neil in his upcoming live-action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles reboot. This is the same reboot with the completely awful script that leaked a few months back. So it’ll probably be about as good as Bay’s Transformers movies. You decide what that means.

April O’Neil, of course, is the yellow-jumpsuited TV reporter who becomes the first human ally of the Turtles. She’s previously been played on film by Judith Hoag and Paige Turco, two actresses that never really did anything else. The film is still casting voice and motion capture actors for the Turtles, but there’s one more twist: “Teenage” has been taken out of the title. Because even teenagers don’t think teenagers are cool anymore. Maybe they should call it One Direction Mutant Fruit Ninja Angry Turtles.

Mutant Ninja Turtles (or whatever the hell it ends up being called) is tentatively scheduled for a May 16, 2014 release. That’s also Megan Fox’s birthday, just so you know.