Nokia finally selling its ugly, useless luxury phone division
If you ever see a phone described as a “luxury phone,” just mentally replace it with “overpriced hideous gold-plated turd” and that tells you all you need to know about the market. Overpriced gold-plated turds are popular among the kind of people who have more wealth than sense, and want you to aggressively understand just how wealthy they are.
Or to make it just that much funnier when they walk into a pole while texting.
Anyway, Vertu was the market leader in the overpriced hideous gold-plated turd market, but it’s officially hitting hard times: its corporate overlord, Nokia, has realized how worthless it is and is dumping it on some VC firm.
If we sound contemptuous of Vertu, that’s because we totally are. “Luxury” phones are, without exception, under-powered, badly designed, and tacky. Vertu has the nerve to sell a “candy-bar” phone, you know, the kind of phone you had in your pocket in 2004 because you couldn’t afford a RAZR for ten thousand dollars.
Just for contrast, the iPhone, you know, a phone that’s actually technologically advanced and worth using? That costs $600 without a contract. So for the cost of fourteen iPhones, you could own a useless, ugly piece of crap!
It’s sad this was profitable enough that Nokia is only selling it now, but, hey, better late than never.