Scottie Pippen’s looking for a job in Obama’s cabinet—says his game reminds him of Jordan’s

by 5 years ago

Today, in supreme butt-kissing of our Commander-In-Chief comes this story of Scottie Pippen comparing Obama’s game to Michael Jordan. Yes, this is a lame attempt to land a spot in the cabinet. And yes, Pippen clearly has a migraine.

“He’s not an overly aggressive player, but he takes what the defense gives him,” said Pippen. “He’s got a smooth game. He probably used to be a little more aggressive, but obviously he doesn’t want to get hurt.”

“I thought the lanes opened up when Michael Jordan used to drive,” laughed Pippen. “I used to be like, wow. But when I saw the President drive, I thought they were bringing the whole motorcade through the lane it was so wide.”

Yea, the lanes opened up for Jordan—until they played the Bad Boys. And then Isiah Thomas was like, “hell no, motherf-cker” and ordered a hit on him. And then the Bulls were like, “waa, waa” and cried to the league to change the rules because the Pistons were playing too rough.

And then the NBA cowered and became a league of pussies, thus leading to the Bulls dominance in the ’90s. And everybody forgot about Pippen faking a migraine for Game 7 of the 1990 ECF which led to a loss.

(The paragraph above was made by a bitter Pistons fan. It does not reflect the views of Guyism nor any sane person.)

Wait, wasn’t this a post about Pippen and Obama or something? I’m so confused.

TAGSBarack ObamaChicago BullsScottie Pippen

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