Today I Learned That Being A Wizard With A Slinky Is Guaranteed To Protect Your Virginity For Life

by 3 years ago
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If ever you’re in a bind and need to keep a virginity in tact, just break out the slinky. After watching this video of a slinky wizard bust out his slinkiest tricks I’m not convinced that the key to properly preserving a virginity is a healthy dose of slinky.

It’s almost as if that slinky is a forcefield extension of his virginity. With each toss, slink, and throw that forcefield of virginity remains firmly intact. That slinky is basically kryptonite to any libido within 100-yards of it.

All that said, this dude’s got MAD SKILLS with the slinky and if I was at a festival and feeling pretty good, I’d probably sit there and watch him toss that slinky around for a baker’s dozen of minutes.


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