Sperm can help women feel better… seriously
New research out of SUNY Albany suggests that exposing pregnant women to your sperm can help alleviate pesky morning sickness. Frat boys everywhere have long been perpetuating the idea that their man juice is like nature’s muscle milk, but the logic behind this new theory is actually pretty solid.
Since a fetus is comprised of equal parts of DNA from both parents, it’s possible that a woman’s body may mistake the foreign bun in her native oven for an infection, causing nausea, vomiting, and general despair. Evolutionary psychologist Gordon Gallup suggests that the solution to the problem is to expose the female to more of the male’s DNA, and that’s where your manhood comes in. Quite literally. Oral sex (or even just plain old intercourse) during a woman’s pregnancy could help her body get accustomed to the presence of your stuff inside of her.
Just keep in mind it’s probably not in your best interest to introduce this concept to your knocked-up ladyfriend while she’s actually experiencing the morning sickness thing. I imagine “Hey babe, I totally hear you. That sounds horrible. Why don’t you blow me?” would be more likely to get you a divorce than a beej.