The Expendables 3 explodes into theaters on August 15th.
The flick features almost every single action movie star from the 1980s and 1990s.
Almost.
Noticeably absent from a cast that even includes Kelsey fucking Grammar is the karate chopping, guitar playing, reality show TV cop Steven Seagal. It seems as though Steven isn’t in the film because he doesn’t get along with some of the cast. That fact should surprise literally no one. What should surprise people is that even though Seagal isn’t in blockbuster flicks anymore, the guy is still a busy actor.
We got to talking about Seagal in the office (it’s a slow day) and how all his movie titles are the same — adjective + preposition + the word kill. We started throwing around possible movie titles that sound like they could, or should, be Steven Seagal movies.
Here are our five favorite ideas. We’d watch the shit out of any of these movies.