22 of the cockiest popular songs of all-time

By 04.19.11  •  17 Comments

What’s the point in writing a song if you can’t completely brag about yourself to everyone listening to it? There is none. And these artists all seem to know it. This selection of songs is living proof of just how selfish musicians can be. From all styles of music, from the popular songs to the slightly more obscure, from the ones doing it intentionally to the ones who just didn’t realize they were being cocky bastards. Here’s a list of some of the cockiest songs we’ve ever heard.

Disclaimer: 98% of Hip Hop songs are cocky, so we apologize if your favorites didn’t make this list. We encourage you to add yours in the comments section below.

Photo credit: YouTube/2Pac

22 California Love – 2Pac feat. Dr. Dre
Cockiest Lyric: Soon as I stepped on the scene, I’m hearin hoochies screamin/Fiendin for money and alcohol/the life of a west side playa where cowards die and it’s all ball

I’m from California. I’ve got the pride too. But I don’t walk around telling the other 49 states about all the hoochies that are screaming for me (and believe me they are). It’s a great place to live, but a little modesty goes a long way.

21 Don’t You Want Me – The Human League
Cockiest Lyric: Now five years later on you’ve got the world at your feet/Success has been so easy for you/But don’t forget it’s me who put you where you are now/And I can put you back down too

It’s like this song was written by Gordon Gekko himself. Puff up your ego all you want, she’s not coming back to you.

20 Gives You Hell – The All American Rejects
Cockiest Lyric: I wake up every evening/With a big smile on my face/And it never feels out of place/And you’re still probably working/At a 9 to 5 pace/I wonder how bad that tastes

There is bowing out of an unsuccessful relationship gracefully, and then there is what The All American Rejects did: rubbing your fame and fortune into your “probably already filled with regret about dumping you” ex’s face via a hit single. It’s a terribly cocky and spiteful thing to do… And we would all do the same exact thing if we could.

19 I Believe I Can Fly – R. Kelly
Cockiest Lyric: I believe I can fly

The original title for this song was “I Believe I Can Have Sex with a Minor on Videotape and Get Away With It”, but R Kelly’s record label thought “I Believe I Can Fly” would make the singer seem a little less full of himself.

18 Hard to Handle – The Black Crowes
Cockiest Lyric: Action speaks louder than words/And I’m a man of great experience/I know you’ve got another man/But I can love you better than him

One thing about guys is that we will always think we are better than the guy you chose to be with and we just need that one opportunity to prove it. When in reality… you’ve probably made the right choice. Still, that didn’t stop The Black Crowes from kicking out this timeless classic on the subject.

17 Number One – Nelly
Cockiest Lyric: Oh if my uncle could see me now/If he could see how many rappers wanna be me now/Straight emulating my style

Look, Nelly. Congratulations on your success. But emulating your style? I don’t think the band-aid on the face look ever ended up catching on. Take it down a notch.

16 My Chick Bad – Ludacris
Cockiest Lyric: My chick bad/My chick hood/My chick do stuff that your chick wish she could

Luda’s song bragging about his girl has ruined every woman in the world for me. Just knowing that I’ll never get a chick as “hood” as his has made me give up entirely.

15 Rebel Yell – Billy Idol
Cockiest Lyric: In the midnight hour/She cried more, more, more

So much for the phrase, “I never kiss and tell”. Billy Idol’s ego gets the best of him in “Rebel Yell” as the chorus lets as know repeatedly how much he made his girl squeal in to the wee hours of the morning.

14 I Me Mine – The Beatles
Cockiest Lyric: I-me-me mine/I-me-me mine/I-me-me mine/I-me-me mine

Three of our favorite words before we learned what sharing was way back in kindergarten. And thanks to George Harrison, we can sing it as adults while we steal Legos that belong to somebody else.

13 It’s Gonna Be Me – N Sync
Cockiest Lyric: You’re just too blind (too blind), too see/But in the end, ya know it’s gonna be me

Men (and I use the term loosely when speaking about the members of N Sync) are too proud to ever admit that they’ve lost. Despite obviously losing the girl, these fellas remain cocky and tell the world that she’ll be back eventually.

12 The World’s Greatest – R. Kelly
Cockiest Lyric: I’m that star up in the sky/ I’m that mountain peak up high/Hey, I made it/I’m the world’s greatest

On the list again, R? If that’s even your real name… I understand being confident and inspirational, but do you think people really want to hear it from a guy who is best known for urinating on children?

11 Piece of Me – Britney Spears
Cockiest Lyric: I’m Miss American Dream since I was 17/Don’t matter if I step on the scene/Or sneak away to the Philippines/They’re still gonna put pictures of my derriere in the magazine

If this was pre-breakdown Britney, I’d say brag away, honey. The fact that she has two kids that are half Kevin Federline means that her right to be cocky is officially revoked.

10 Okay I Believe You, But My Tommy Gun Don’t – Brand New
Cockiest Lyric: I am heaven sent/Don’t you dare forget/I am all you’ve ever wanted/What all the other boys all promised.

Aside from having one of the greatest titles ever, this song from Long Island-based, Brand New goes on to mock cockiness by being overly-cocky itself. Other highlights: “we are the best at what we do” and “this is the way you wish your voice sounds”.

9 I Wanna Talk About Me – Toby Keith
Cockiest Lyric: I wanna talk about me/Wanna talk about I/Wanna talk about number one

I sympathize with Mr. Keith. We’ve all dated that girl at some point in our lives. But a whole song devoted to wanting to talk about yourself doesn’t make you come off any better than her. Does anyone want to hear Toby Keith sing about himself? Come to think of it… Does anyone want to hear Toby Keith sing?

8 I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson – DJ Jazzy Jeff and The Fresh Prince
Cockiest Lyric: I’m rough like a freight train/smooth like ice/And yo Jeff, straight up/I think I can beat Mike Tyson

Scrawny Will Smith (not in his prime) thinks he can take Mike Tyson (in his prime) and actually win. As the song goes, we learn that confidence will only get you so far. Moral of the story: Stop being so cocky or you’ll end up getting the shit kicked out of you.

7 The Greatest Man That Ever Lived (Variations on a Shaker Hymn) – Weezer
Cockiest Lyric: I’m the baddest of the bad/I’m the best that you’ve ever had/I’m the tops, I’m the king/All the girls get up when I sing

Hipsters everywhere, pump your fists in the air, as Rivers Cuomo leads his bandmates in this epic six-minute song about being the greatest man that ever lived… in 11 different styles of music, mind you. Who says that just because you wear dorky glasses or sport a pedophile mustache that you can’t be cocky?

6 The Girl is Mine – McCartney/Jackson
Cockiest Lyric: [Paul] I’ve heard it all before, Michael/She told me that I’m her forever lover, you know/Don’t you remember?
[Michael] Well, after loving me, she said she couldn’t love another

Guys are never willing to admit when a girl just isn’t into them. In this duet, Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson’s egos do battle over the same girl. Neither one of them believes that it is possible for the girl to be into someone other than themselves. You’re being played, fellas. Get off your high horses and recognize it.

5 The Greatest Love of All – Whitney Houston
Cockiest Lyric: I found the greatest love of all/Inside of me

This ballad about learning to love yourself is really quite cocky when you think about it. The absolute greatest love of all belongs to you and only you, Whitney? Truth is, the only way Whitney would find the greatest love inside of her is if she were sleeping with me. How’s that for cocky?

4 I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred
Cockiest Lyric: I’m too sexy for my shirt/too sexy for my shirt/So sexy it hurts

“I’m Too Sexy” is one of those songs that never should have been a success. Just like Rebecca Black’s “Friday” or any song ever written by The Black Eyed Peas. Then again, Fred had a point. How many times have you thrown on a mesh shirt and a giant hoop earring and not felt like the sexiest person on the planet?

3 Without Me – Eminem
Cockiest Lyric: The center of attention, back for the winter/I’m interesting, the best thing since wrestling

Now Eminem doesn’t exactly specify which type of wrestling he’s better than, but if it’s midget wrestling… he couldn’t be more wrong. Nothing beats midget wrestling.

2 Life’s Been Good – Joe Walsh
Cockiest Lyric: I have a mansion forget the price/Ain’t never been there they tell me it’s nice/I live in hotels tear out the walls/I have accountants pay for it all

Joe Walsh’s feel good classic about life being good is really just a giant middle finger to everyone who isn’t a rock star. Try listening to this song from your cubicle on a Tuesday and see how good life’s been to you

1 Power – Kanye
Cockiest Lyric: I’m living in that 21st century/doin’ something mean to it/Do it better then anybody you ever seen do it/Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it/I guess every superhero need his theme music

It might surprise you to learn that Kanye is full of himself. Until “Power,” we were all under the impression that modesty was his best attribute. Thank you for clarifying.

TAGS2PacArbitrary RankingsBrand NewBritney SpearsEminemfeaturedKanye WestListsLudacrisMichael JacksonMusicNellyPaul McCartneyR. KellyRebel YellThe BeatlesToby KeithTupacvideoWeezerWhitney HoustonWill Smith

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