The Stoner Bucket List: 20 things to do for 4/20
Tomorrow is the biggest day for pot smokers everywhere, an international celebration for lovers of cannabis the world over. But it can be difficult to figure out how to make your 4/20 different than any other day so we’re providing you with this Stoner Bucket List of things do to this 4/20 (or any day, really).
20. Use a vaporizer to get high
We’ll start it off easy for you guys. 4/20 is a celebration of pot culture and nothing out there screams “I know my way around a bowl” quite like a high end vaporizer. Whether it’s a Volcano or some contraption you got off Amazon that looks vaguely like Johnny-5 from Short Circuit, the vape high is a different feeling, and one everyone should try once.
19. Build a giant “Scooby Doo”-esque sandwich
Scooby Doo and Shaggy were, as far as I can tell, the first and biggest potheads ever captured in animation. So what better way to celebrate 4/20 than embrace their ways? Grab twenty slices of bread, your favorite cold cuts and condiments, get high enough that you can pretend your dog can talk, and eat away. Even if the sandwich sucks, at least you’ll have an awesome homemade version of Jenga to play.
18. Buy your pot from the shadiest spot imaginable
Yes, when most traditional media outlets cover marijuana in a positive light, they act like the only way people smoke pot is from purchases in legal medicinal places with a license. Fun fact: Most states don’t allow that. So live on the edge and eschew your friendly neighborhood pot dealer. The weed may be heinous and smell like a bonsai tree, but at least you could feel like you were living in The Wire for just one hour.
17. Hit up a Bob Marley cover band show
The patron saint of pot may have passed away a long time ago but his music lives on through not only his albums, but countless cover bands across the nation. In Southern Cali? Try to find the One Drop Redemption. In Dallas? Maybe the Island Boogie Steel Drum Band will move you. It’s the closest you can get to the real thing without a time machine or a lot of planning repeated watchings of Weekend at Bernie’s.
16. Watch five classic stoner movies in one sitting
There’s nothing better after a nice hit than lounging around and zoning out on something entertaining. So why not use this time to pick out five of the best stoner movies you haven’t seen (or have seen and adored) and hit them all in one night? At a certain point, it even becomes a challenge within a challenge. Sure, watching Still Smokin’ seemed like a good idea at 8PM, but when you’re four movies and three bowls in and fighting to stay conscious, it becomes the ultimate test of will. E.T. The Extra Testicle loses its charms a bit.
15. Paint or draw a picture while high
This seems like some “Oh, I’m an artist…let me CREATE” type of thing, I know. But who hasn’t loved painting or even fingerpainting at some point in their lives? The point of this exercise is to do awesome things you wouldn’t normally do sober. So screw it, go get some crafts, get baked, and embrace your inner Picasso. Your horse looks more like a giraffe but hey, you made that bizarro horse-giraffe monstrosity. Cherish it.
14. Eat a pot brownie or, for the advanced, a fancy pot dessert treat
Again, another basic one. But if you haven’t done this one and you fancy yourself a smoker, you probably need to cross this one off your list early. Make sure to find a quality recipe though: it’s a thin line between “Awesome, I’m really high and eating a delicious brownie” and “Oh God, I think I can see the future and this brownie tastes like sugary dirt.”
13. Smoke within 100 feet of a police station
Reckless? Perhaps. But if you’re one of those politically active “the government needs to stop overregulating our bodies” types of smokers, what more ballsy-yet-passive-aggressive way is there to thumb your nose at the man and his laws? The judge will definitely account for your awesomeness during your trial.
12. Stare at a little person
Okay, this one sounds kind of cruel. And perhaps it is. But you know that classic clip from “The Simpsons” where Otto is so stoned off his ass that he talks about his fingers and their “finging?” That’s sort of what staring at a midget is like. Mentally, you know the little person is just one of the universe’s quirks. But you smoke enough and this becomes a whole metaphysical discussion you haven’t even scratch the surface on.
11. Break out the Gravity Bong
Everyone’s favorite absurd way to smoke up in college needs to be tried at least once. Some say it’s the most potent way to get high. Other say you just look like an a-hole. But either way, it’s an important part of pot culture. Here’s a helpful how-to guide to make your own Gravity Bong this 4/20.
10. Get high on a hot air balloon
Odds are that going into space while high isn’t something you’ll be able to approach in the next decade or two, so why not do the next best thing and get on a hot air balloon ride? Check out the majesty of the earth, say “Wow, everybody looks like ants from up here!” seven hundred and thirty times, and bring your big book of Jules Verne jokes that you’ve been saving up for just such an occasion.
9. Find someone new to smoke kiss
Let’s be real…whether you like pot or not, you have to admit that stoner girls tend to be the coolest girls around. So why not share in common interests you both will share with a smoke kiss? By making out after one of you takes a hit, not only do you get to make out with an attractive girl with a fun side, but you also get high. Putting lipstick on your vaporizer and tongue kissing it is a less recommended replacement.
8. Take someone’s pot virginity
Ah that first smoke. The moment when boys become men and men become…kind of lazy and occasionally paranoid. Even though the urban legend says you can’t get high your first time, there’s nothing better to entertain a long time smoker than to watch a newbie act like they don’t feel anything, only to find themselves passed out on the floor singing the Facts of Life theme.
7. Smoke with a relative, preferably an older one
If you’re one of those “cool kids” who grew up with parents in the house who gave them weed and said things like, “Hey, I’d rather you do it here under my supervision,” you can skip this one and punch yourself in the groin. For everyone else, this is one of those things that might seem awkward at first, but could be quite liberating. Plus, now you’ll know who’ll tell you funny stories about getting caught beating it to Farrah Fawcett while you’re celebrating Aunt Ronnie’s 77th birthday.
6. Have sex while high
If you’re enough of a pot smoker to be checking out this list, I’d have to assume you’d have already crashed through this barrier. But if you haven’t, now’s the time to do it. So grab that special guy or gal in your life and let your two bodies become one. Bonus bucket list points for involving extra people, objects, and farm animals.
5. Combine three “classic” stoner foods to form a Megazord snack
Lately, combining foods into new foods is all the rage (see: The Doritos Taco Loco). So why not put on your lab coat and goggles, pick up your favorite stoner foods, and see what you come up with. Want a hot dog covered in Funions and peanut butter? Who’s to say that combination won’t be awesome? Take the leap, put a bunch of stuff together like a buffet with your friends, and go nuts.
4. Get high at a transcendently beautiful location
Light up at Machu Picchu? Take a hit at the Grand Canyon? Hot box before entering the Sears Tower’s Glass Box (pictured left)? The only thing that could make these locations more mind-blowing than they already are is the welcome addition of weed. Just remember: Safety first. By which I mean always wear a condom while getting high and falling into the Grand Canyon. It’s just good manners.
3. See any of those big Vegas shows
Blue Man Group, Cirque du Soleil or even Criss Angel put on a hell of a show when you’re sober. But the vivid colors and outlandish presentation become an otherworldly event went you’re stoned off your ass. Get your ass on the next plane to Vegas (or whatever town near you has one of their touring companies), smoke up harder than you ever have, and see where the night takes you. And hopefully that’s not somewhere having sex with a flamboyant leprechaun with a French accent.
2. Go to an amusement park of your choice, Disneyland being tops
Anyone who’s been to Disneyland can tell you that the place really lives up to the hype of the “Happiest Place on Earth.” Nowhere else in America can you see people so overcome with joy and fun in one area. And what better way to appreciate that than by sparking up a big bowl before hitting the park? You probably haven’t lived until you’ve been stoned off your ass and sat on one of the talking benches in Cartoon Town without realizing it was going to yell at you. That’s what Roger Rabbit’s life was like every single day.
1. Make the pilgrimage to the mecca of pot, Amsterdam
The snobs out there will say that Amsterdam pot isn’t even the best in Europe or that the region is nothing more than a tourist trap. But fuck the snobs. There’s a reason Amsterdam has become this iconic place in pot culture, enough so that (for better or worse) it’s the first thing that would come to most people’s minds when they hear the city’s name. Get over there, bring your camera so you can remember everything that happens, and go crazy. Not crazy enough to end up in a real life version of Hostel, but crazy.
Smoking man image by Shutterstock
Painting image by Shutterstock
Hot air balloon image by Shutterstock
Giant sandwich image by Shutterstock
Amsterdam image by Shutterstock
(Originally published on April 18, 2011.)