When you go the beach, you bring sun block. When you go to your friend's place for football, you bring beer. When you come into work late, you bring an excuse. But what do you bring to the bar? I've put together a list of things to make sure are on you before you head out.
Garlic breath aside, mints can save you from a variety of bad situations. Say, you're hooking up with a girl at the bar. She's cute, she's ripe for... oh and her breath is pretty ripe too... Bust out the breath mints, take one yourself (so as not to arouse suspicion and because your cheap beer breath isn't much better) and put one right on her tongue for her if she'll let you. If not, an open palm will suffice. And just to clarify, I'm talking about a waiting open palm, not a karate chop.
There aren't many things out there that will make a fun night like good friends will. If all your friends are wifed up, too busy or homebodies, then guess what? You need to pad your social life with some fun, new ones.
If you're a married guy, it's just not cool to take off the wedding ring before going out. Sorry for the lecture, but now that that's out of the way, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: women are frequently more attracted to men who aren't available to them. Whether you're gay, married, out of their league, or all three at once you're about to get more attention than you bargained for.
This should be an obvious one, as plenty of people smoke and even more will be doing so when they’re partying. Having a lighter at an opportune moment means you will be creating a veritable (okay, real) flame to satisfy both passion and necessity. Just as her pursed lips hold the cigarette, you will hold her attention for a moment, allowing you to inject a casual observation or witty remark.
When people drink, they drop things. Things like cell phones, wedding rings (oops!, that’s supposed to stay on, remember?) and sometimes even pants. With the exception of the pants (or their naughty little sibling the “panties”) a flashlight can help in situations like these. “Hi, I’m 'X'. What are we looking for?” Then take it from there.
If all else fails, just have an iPhone. The iPhone itself isn’t an eye-popper in this day and age but if you customize it with a bunch of kick-ass apps, you’ll be able to offer a host of activities for you and your friends to indulge in just in case the action at the club gets stale.
If you're feeling good, capitalize on that with good company and good conversation. If you're in a sour mood, have a drink, shake it off and bring out the best "you" possible. Going out is about being social, so have some good stories ready to tell or funny pictures to show. And whatever you do, don't forget to dress appropriately for wherever you're going, be it sports bar or posh club.
Originally published on September 12, 2011.