World’s greatest boyfriend smears crap on girlfriend during fight
If allegations lobbed against Jacob Kuhn are true, dude won’t be single for long. Any gal would be lucky to have him.
Kuhn is facing domestic battery charges after Hernando County, Fla. police say a fight with his girlfriend turned…shitty.
According to police, Kuhn and his live-in girlfriend were drinking when things escalated into an argument.
The girlfriend called police to report that the argument became physical and escalated to the point that Kuhn smeared feces all over her back.
Kuhn fled the scene initially but returned later to face arrest.
He’s currently being held without bail because poop smearing is no joke. No joke at all.
It’s easy to say that this guy’s basically a monster for rubbing his poop on the girl, but maybe he meant that as an act of contrition? Like “Hey baby, times are tough, but our love is as strong as the fragrance from that the shit I just pulled out and rubbed on your back is.” It’s poetic if you really think about it. Jacob Kuhn, you hopeless romantic you.