105 Problems You Can Have on Twitter

By 03.05.13

Perhaps the most simultaneously annoying and interesting trend, though, is the move toward every one and their 12-year-old sister dedicating an account to a “problem.” The mania started innocuously. Acccounts were created for problems that millions of people go through daily—post-grad problems, college problems, athlete problems. This was fine. But then we watched these accounts spread. And grow. And become incoherent.

Suddenly, there was a Twitter profile for every kind of entitled, first-world problem you could possibly think of. Many of the accounts weren't about problems at all—just collections of quotes ripped from Katt Williams parody accounts or listings of different types of clothing brands. And the ones that did continue to list problems? For every one that told you about a problem unique to the situation (“Our library closes at 8 p.m. #collegeproblem”) there were 10 that didn't (“Tired #collegeproblem”).

It's time to catalog this weird, weird trend. Below is a rundown of the many, many problems you can find on Twitter. Some of these accounts are truly awful. Some are gems and should be worth a follow. 

All, though, are strict adherents of today's No. 1 Internet pastime: Whining. Enjoy.

1. High School Problems

2. Senior '13 Problems

3. College Problems

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4. Student Problems

5. Abroad Problems

6. Post Grad Problems

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7. Frat Problems

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8. Frat Star Problems

9. Gay Frat Problems

10. Sratty Problems

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11. Sorority Problems

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12. Greek Girl Problems

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(So yeah, this is actually “Greek” Greek. My bad.)

13. Prep Problems

14. Prep Girl Problems

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15. Prep Bro Problems

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16. 90s Girl Problems

17. 90s Boy Problems

18. 20s Problems

19. White Girl Problems

20. Black Girl Problems

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21. Blonde Girl Problems

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22. Brunette Problems

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23. Bitch Problems

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24. Pretty Girl Problems

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25. Ugly Girl Problems

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26. Cocky Girl Problems

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27. Tall Girl Problems

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28. Short Girl Problems

29. Stoner Girl Problems

30. Goth Girl Problems

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31. Irish Girl Problems

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32. Drunk Girl Problems (Same thing?)

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33. Big Boob Problems

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34. Flat Girl Problems

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35. Single Problems

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36. Boyfriend Problems

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37. Single Girl Problems

38. Single Guy Problems

39. Slutty Girl Problems

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40. Slutty Man Problems

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41. Trendy Problems

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42. Band Problems

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43. Hipster Problems

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44. Theatre Kid Problems

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45. Anxiety Problems

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46. Party Problems

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47. Big Kid Problems

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48. Ginger Problems

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49. Alcoholic Problems

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50. Male Nurse Problems

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51. Jewish Boy Problems

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52. Jewish Girl Problems

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53. Bar Staff Problems

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54. McDonalds Problems

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55. Pastor Problems

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56. Leo Problems

57. Jay-Z 99 Problems

(This is actually the worst parody account I've ever seen.)

58. Small Town Problems

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59. Southern Problems

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60. Catholic Problems

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61. Mormon Problems

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62. Uh, Mermaid Problems

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63. Duke Problems

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64. UNC Problems

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65. University of Texas Problems

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66. UGA Problems

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67. Notre Dame Problems

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68. UConn Problems

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69. UF Problems

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70. Michigan Problems

71. Texas Tech Problems

72. Kentucky Problems

73. Canadian Problems

74. Asian Problems

75. Indian Problems

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76. Lebanese Problems

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77. Arab Problems

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78. Rhode Island Problems

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79. Ohio Problems

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80. California Problems

81. Illinois Problems

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82. Southern Illinois Problems

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83. Texas Girl Problems

84. New York City Girl Problems

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85. Brooklyn Girl Problems

86. Westchester Problems

87. First World Problems

88. Rich World Problems

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(Awful.)

89. Athlete Problems

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90. Basketball Problems

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91. Baseball Problems

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92. Golf Problems

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93. Gym Rat Problems

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94. Skating Problems

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95. Hockey Problems

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96. Tennis Problems

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97. D1 Lax Problems

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98. D-Mid Problems

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(Jesus Christ, that's specific.)

99. Just Plain Lacrosse Problems

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100. Snap Chat Problems

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101. Temple Run Problems

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102. Call of Duty Problems

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103. Madden Problems

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104. The Sims Problems

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AND FINALLY:

105. Life Problems

 


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