30 Things 30-Somethings Hate About Millennials

by 4 years ago

“God damn Millennials,” one of us said. Simultaneously, we realized that 30-somethings, such as ourselves, hate our 20-something counterparts. And we came up with the 30 reasons why. 

1. They bitch when streaming media buffers.

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2. Their phones are always dead.

3. They have no idea what it’s like to spend money on a CD or DVD.

4 They don’t even know you used to have to wait two days to get your Netflix.

5. They don’t think September 11th was a big deal.

6. They were never were forced to drink Zima.

7. They bitch when they have to interact with service people. 

8. They can’t meet someone without resisting the urge to Google their name.

9. They use “a bad economy” as an excuse for their own professional shortcomings.

10. They can’t fathom different perspectives.

11. They care about celebrities who aren’t really celebrities.

12. 2 a.m. is early to them.

13. They make fun of MySpace without having ever used it.

14. They need apps for dating.

15. They bitch about the pronunciation of “GIF.”



16. Things speak to them.

17. They love blindly supporting slacktivism campaigns on social media.

18. They sing along to 90s songs like they were there, WHICH THEY WEREN'T. 

19. They have infinite porn at their disposal and don’t remember how titillating late night HBO, Cinemax, the Spice Network, and MTV’s “Undressed” were.

20. They complain about their phones.

21. They take pictures of themselves, not other people. #selfies #gpoy

22. They can't get through a college class without using a laptop or checking their phone.

23. They've always been told to “follow their passion,” yet live beyond their means and complain about financial problems.

24. They share contrived inspirational memes on social media.

25. Every time they say IDK.

26. They are inspired by shit they see on Tumblr.

26. They type things like “thx” and “k” when using a full keyboard. 

28. They aren’t amazed by modern medicine like they should be.

29. Their opinion of the British Monarchy is based on Kate Middleton GIFs.

30. They can't fathom the fact they will one day be 30 and hate who they used to be as well. 


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