7 Things That Shouldn’t Be Legal, But Still Are

by 3 years ago
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We’ve all heard of the laws that exist simply because they’re outdated and nobody has taken time out of their day to fix them. For example, in Los Angeles, it is illegal to bathe two babies at the same time in the same tub. Nobody’s getting locked up for breaking that law, but frankly, nobody gives a shit about that law.

I’m here to tell you about things you can do that are 100% legal, but they seem like they shouldn’t be. In fact, you might feel like a little bit of a bad ass if you do some of the things that you are going to read about below! Have you ever thought about breaking out of a Mexican prison, or watching bestiality pornography? If you have, this article is for you. If you haven’t, just read the goddamn article anyway.

1) The Idaho Stop
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Idaho, the lawless potato state that it is, thought it would be a good idea to give bike riders a little bit more freedom when “sharing” the road. The law, created in 1982, allows cyclists to treat stop signs as yield signs, and treat red lights as stop signs. If this sounds like a fucking nightmare, that’s because it is. And you should be worried, because cyclists all over North America are trying to get the Idaho stop legalized in their home states.

Obviously, there are cons to this law. The main one is the fact that cyclists are already annoying and unpredictable, but with the Idaho Stop Law they will just be able to be even less predictable, and even more annoying. I hate cyclists. They’re pricks. However, many people (mostly people who ride bicycles on a daily basis) have tried to lobby for the law to pass and stated that it has many pros, the main argument being that there has only been one study done on the safety of the Idaho Stop, and it proved that it is slightly safer than the laws that we currently have in effect.

2) If you’re underage, you can get wasted at a bar with your parents!
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Pack your bags, kids. It’s time to convince your parents to take you on a vacation to either Connecticut, Kansas, Louisiana, Massachusetts, Mississippi, Nevada, Ohio, Texas, Wisconsin, or Wyoming. These states are henceforth known as the “cool” states. Why? Because it’s legal to get shitfaced at a bar…as long as your parents are there with you and consent to you drinking alcohol. ‘Nuff said.

3) Breaking out of a Mexican prison
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Due to the fact that Mexico has a few issues with corruption, drug trafficking, prostitution, and overall gang violence, it seems like the country is the modern day version of the Wild West. Mexico is not only criticized for the issues listed above, but also because it has a very outdated judicial system. For example, Mexico’s legal system recognizes that all people have a fundamental desire to be free. Therefore, if a convicted felon tries to escape prison, or successfully escapes and is later caught, they won’t be charged with a crime for escaping prison. Mexico is lawless, man.

There are a few exceptions: any law they break while escaping will result in them being charged. They can’t conspire with other prisoners to escape, bribe someone, or damage any property.

Though the law is criticized by almost everyone, it’s sort of a sweet opportunity for a reality television show. Every week, convicts from all over Mexico try ridiculous new ways to escape prison. If they succeed: they’ll be free men. If they fail, well, they are right back where they started with no repercussions. I’d pay to watch that shit on pay-per-view. FOX should really look into this. It could be a hit!

4) It’s completely legal to walk around topless in New York City!
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Have you heard about all the women walking around in New York City completely topless to raise awareness that they can, in fact, walk around shirtless? As you can imagine, this is a women’s right movement that everyone should support. Everyone loves boobs! However, not everyone knows that being topless in the Big Apple isn’t a crime to begin with. In fact, some police officers didn’t even know that until a controversial case was picked up by the media.

Self proclaimed “topless paparazzo,” 46-year-old Holly Van Voast used to be seen in New York without a top, with a classy painted-on moustache and Marilyn Monroe wig. She would tour around the city playing a character she made up named Harvey Van Toast. However, due to the fact that between 2011 and 2013 she had been arrested or detained on 10 different occasions for walking around topless, Van Voast decided to file a complaint with the city. After a somewhat awkward legal battle, Van Voast agreed to a $40,000 settlement fee, but she was hoping to get more.

“I think the amount is very low, considering what happened to me,” said Van Voast, also mentioning the fact that some officers had her institutionalized several times for psychiatric evaluations.

5) Bestiality porn is legal to own in 50 states
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First of all, technically it’s called zoophilia pornography, but nobody really knows it by that name. Second of all, I know we joked about Mexico being the modern day Wild West, but America isn’t much better. In all 50 states, it is completely legal to watch bestiality pornography. The only restriction on videos of people having sex with animals is that the person who is humping the animal in question must be above 18 years of age.

That being said, there are also numerous states that have made it legal to actually produce videos of people having sex with animals. These states include Alabama, Hawaii, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, Ohio, Vermont, West Virginia, and Wyoming. Plan your next vacation accordingly. *wink*

There are also some states that allow you to create pornography involving animals, but the actual act of having sex with an animal is illegal. These states include: Washington (made illegal after a man died after letting a horse fuck him in the ass) Tennessee, North Carolina, Montana, Illinois, Florida, and Alaska.

6) It is legal in 21 States for employers to refuse to hire people that smoke
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Believe it or not, there is an increasing trend amongst employers – they have started to refuse to hire people that smoke. And yes, it’s completely legal for employers to do in 21 states.

Businesses that have adopted this non-smokers only policy have said that they are trying to promote health and wellness, and that they aren’t denying people the right to smoke, just the right to work for certain employers if they happen to smoke. Although these non-smoking rules are considered a dangerous precedent, they are somewhat justified.

A Canadian study revealed that the average smoker costs a company around $4,200 a year or more than non-smokers. The study broke down the number as $3,800 for lost productivity due to unsanctioned smoke breaks, and another $400 in lost productivity due to the employee being absent.

Believe it or not, some employers, specifically some hospitals, are actually asking for urine tests from potential applicants to prove that they have no nicotine in their system. This of course includes smokeless tobacco products, nicotine patches, and obviously cigarettes.

What’s next? Refusing to hire someone because they eat too much McDonald’s?

7) In South Africa, you can own a car that shoots fire out of the side
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This law is straight up badass. In 1998, South African inventor Charl Fourie designed The Blaster to provide drivers some sort of defense from carjackers. You see, South Africa has a major problem with people having their car stolen while they are stopped at traffic lights. As a result, Charl Fourie designed The Blaster, a flamethrower that shoots fire out of the sides of a car after the occupant of the vehicle simply flips a switch. It’s fucking awesome.

However, many people said that the self-defense weapon wouldn’t deter carjackers. Instead, it would inspire carjackers to just shoot their victims before they try and steal the vehicle, which was already a common practice.

The Blaster was made legal for sale because in South Africa, ownership of a flamethrower is completely unrestricted. Furthermore, it is absolutely legal to use lethal force in self-defense, or in fear of one’s life! The Blaster can still be found in some cars driving around Johannesburg today, although Charl Fourie stopped selling the device in 2001.

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