89-Year-Old Bro Makes His Stand Up Comedy Debut And Brings The House Down With His Dick Jokes

Just another prime example of old people not giving a fuck. Horny widows, assault and battery, penis enlargers, micropenises–do you think there’s one brittle bone in his body that cares about being politically polite or hurting everyone’s feelings? Do you think this old-timer gives a shit about being labeled ‘insensitive’ by tight-assed Twitter trolls looking for the trendiest issue to be upset about this week? Fuck no. This dude was born into the Depression. When these trolls were babies they were fed Gerber’s and told that they are ‘winners’. My boy Chuck Esterly was forced to eat a fucking baseball glove out of necessity. Don’t tell this man how to live unless you want a size 8 velcro shoe to the melon. The only thing this dude changes on himself is his diaper. BOOMROASTED.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.