Dude, let’s level with each other. Our penises smell like Kevin Garnett’s shoe after a playoff game. No wonder why girls give me the “Do I have to?” look whenever I ask for a blowjob on my birthday. It should be noted that as men, our junk doesn’t smell like a Sephora.
With that said, most of us have been in the situation where a girl has had all the tools: attractive, good sense of humor, grounded, gets along with our friends, etc. But we call it off when we realize we have to wear a surgeon mask when we go down on her. It’s an absolute deal breaker. Call it petty, call it unfair, just don’t call it over here.
How do you tell someone you care about that this is a debilitating issue? You don’t. You let ‘Anonymous’ do it.
For $15, you can send the most passive aggressive gift imaginable by typing www.washyourbox.com into your web browser.
The recipient receives the following:
- A bottle of moisterizing cream soap containing aloe and chamomile
- A loofah
- A personal message from you (if you so choose)
- A message from Wash Your Box: “you smell bad and you should feel bad” (somewhat aggressive)
So ya, it may be best just to get her that Alex & Ani bracelet from Tiffany’s she’s been hounding you for, but if you think this will save your relationship, or her future relationships, then fall on the stinky sword, brother.
Just don’t tell her I sent you.
In the meantime, give yourself an extra scrub down in the shower, your junk is starting to smell like Gruyere cheese that’s been forgotten in the Arizona sun.
[H/T Bored Panda]