25-year-old Aroosha Nekonam was once told that her anorexia had caused her to become so weak that she would need a wheelchair in order to move because her heart had begun to struggle with mundane everyday activities that people like you and I take for granted. One would think that after being told such a harrowing diagnosis that she would seek help for her disease, however in an interview with Daily Mail Aroosha explains why that didn’t become the case until much, much later:
‘Even when the doctors told me that I could need a wheelchair, part of me was still in denial,’ she said.
‘I had a little voice saying, “They’re lying, they’re just trying to undo your work”. It was a real mental battle.
While Aroosha had always been “fit and active,” it wasn’t until she became a teenager that she began upping the exercise and cutting out fattening foods. Unfortunately, things gradually began taking a turn for the worse “due to various stresses in her personal life,” leaving her with a poor body image and low self-esteem. Seeing losing weight as a way of “regaining control” over her life, Aroosha said that every time she stepped on a scale and saw that she’d lost another pound it “felt like a win.”
‘I’d exercise excessively, running for an hour and a half every day on empty,’ she said.
‘My self-worth was just at rock bottom. I felt like I wasn’t achieving anything, or meeting the expectations I’d set for myself.
‘I’ve never hated before, but at that time, I hated myself.
‘Starving myself was my answer to everything because, in my eyes, it was the only thing I was good at.’(via)
It wasn’t until doctors told her that she may need a wheelchair due to the strain her extreme weight loss was putting on her heart that Aroosha realized she had a problem. Her road to recovery wasn’t as easy as just scarfing down a couple extra hundred calories a day though – the toughest part of her battle was the mental aspect; convincing herself that she deserved to get better and that she was worth the fight:
‘I worked with my psychiatrist and dietician to build up my weight gradually and, as my body grew stronger, so did my mind.
‘I realised I was worth more than what I’d put my body through. I was sick of feeling isolated and ashamed. I wanted my life back.’
… ‘After I started getting into weightlifting, I’d look on Instagram at all these posts of female lifters, and realised that was the kind of body I wanted,’ she said.
‘I was sick of being frail, of not eating and moving. I wanted to be strong.’(via)
Now fully rehabilitated and stronger than ever, Aroosha says that she’s “a completely different person” and doesn’t “use exercise as punishment anymore.” And as a final “fuck you” to anorexia, she’s registered to compete in a UK Bodybuilding and Fitness Federation bikini competition in May.
Until then, however, you can see more of Aroosha on her YouTube channel where she describes her diet, workout, and talks about her past eating disorder.
[H/T Daily Mail]