Is arguing with your girlfriend the end of the world? No. It’s really not that big of a deal and ultimately you should just get used to it.
Relationships are nothing if not 50% a quarreling pain in the ass, but in the spirit of perhaps lessening that percentage, wouldn’t it be nice to avoid the things that you argue about most?
This is when you nod and say, “Why yes nice lady writing for BroBible! That would be lovely.”
Obviously every couple is different when it comes to their argumentative patterns. The following list is merely what I assume most of you bitch at each other about. I could be wrong, but in the off-chance I’m actually right about something, go ahead and heed my advice, thank me later.
What to Eat
Ah, the age old question of, “What’s for dinner?” It’s kind of fucking crazy that people can argue about something as asinine as this, but we’re human and ultimately that translates into being fucking dumb. Moving forward, if you find yourself arguing with your girlfriend over what to eat, you have two options. Remain completely silent until she makes up her mind or offer her three options to choose from. In the event she still can’t decide, please explain to me why you’re dating someone who behaves like an entitled, petulant, child?
Someone’s a Lush
You’re drinking too much or she’s drinking too much, in either event, it isn’t fun. How do you avoid arguing about this, you ask? Well, if she’s drinking too much to the point that it’s destructive to the relationship then STOP drinking with her. Don’t take her places where she can drink. Don’t buy her alcohol. Don’t feed into the behavior. If that doesn’t work, then tell her parents, seriously, be a tattle-tale, there’s no shame in that game. If you’re drinking too much, hopefully she’ll do the things I mentioned above, if not, do yourself a favor, take a step back and figure out why you’re doing it.
Social Media
Do you find yourself getting ripped a new asshole because you follow accounts titled things like “Big Booty Hoes” on Instagram? If so, stop following accounts like that! Is it really worth it to argue over such shit? I know, I know. Why is it okay for women to tell you what to do? Because you love her, that’s why, and if this upsets her, just give in OR make a secret account where you can conduct such behaviors peacefully.
Friends
When two people have been dating for a while, it’s customary that each individual adopts the other’s friend group as their own. Normally, this isn’t such a bad thing. In fact, it’s kind of nice. There is however some instances where it goes horribly, horribly wrong and incessant arguments ensue over having to hang out with your significant other’s pals. This is a tricky one, but it can be managed. If you hate your girlfriend’s friends but she insists on you hanging out with them, just appease her by saying yes, but also invite your friends along. This is what we call calculated compromise.
Cleaning up
This generally only applies to couples that live together but ultimately if you find yourself bickering over who has to do the dishes, kick it old school and make a fucking chore chart. That’s right; I said it, a CHORE CHART. No one can argue with the power of a duty calendar fashioned in magic marker and whimsical stickers.
What to Watch
Similarly as “what to eat” deciding on what to watch is also grounds for a petty argument. My solution? If you can’t agree on what to watch, watch something separately. I know this seems like common sense, but if it were, you wouldn’t be screaming at each other right now. In the event you only have one television/computer, then might I suggest compromise OR Food Network, it’s a universally agreed upon thing.
Positioning
Everyone has their preferred sexual position much like some people prefer French fries while others prefer their potatoes mashed. It’s all very subjective. I hope that you aren’t arguing over this too much, but in the event you are, the only real solution is to try out as many as you can think of until you find one that’s mutually agreed upon (this is one of the more fun ones on the list). Yes, I know its commonplace to switch positions up throughout the process. I’m mostly referring to the grand finale here.
Your future
This one is a bit heavy, which is why I’ve saved it for last. Are you thinking of relocating for a job? Are you ever going to married? Do you want to have children? These are all big whopping hot fudge sundae with a cherry on top questions and ultimately they give most men agita (I had to Google the spelling 3 times, my first guess was ah-ged-dah) so I understand why you’re arguing about them, I don’t blame you. The only way to avoid this is to sit down and be balls to the wall honest with each other. If it leads to a breakup, fucking-a-right! Do you want to be with someone you can’t agree about this shit with? The answer is no. You’re not a little kid anymore. You fuck up and end up with the wrong person, it matters. Don’t waste your youth on anyone who doesn’t make you blowjob-while-drinking-a-beer-happy.