Ashley Madison Was Developing An App Called ‘What’s Your Wife Worth?’ In Case You Were Unsure Before You Married Her

Just when you thought the outrageous Ashley Madison saga couldn’t get more juicy after 37 million subscribers were leaked (including UN and Vatican staff members), two dudes committed suicide, and that Jesus freak Josh Duggar turned out to be a full-blown sex savage, the plot has thickened even more.

Leaked files from Ashley Madison’s parent company, Avid Life Media, indicate that the company was prepared to launch an app called “What’s Your Wife Worth?” which would allow men to rate each other’s wives, according to the Daily Dot.

The app would require men to upload photos of their “soulmates” and other dudes would rate them. The ratings would be scaled on a 1-10 metric, which would then determine each wives dollar amount.

Judging from the image below, it looks like Samantha, would scored a very respectable 8.25 score, would be worth a WHOPPING $162, or roughly .02% of what her husband spent on the wedding ring to bind them for life.

In a June 2013 email, Avid Life Media’s CEO, Noel Biderman, shared his thoughts on the app, which was currently under development:

“Choice should be ‘post your wife’ and ‘bid on someone’s wife… I am not sure we should be asking for real names—rather usernames.”

Wow, Noel. You really showed some moral fiber there by not revealing the wives’ real names on your app that equates the best looking ones to a nice pair of jeans.

In response to Noel’s email, ALM’s vice president of creative and design Brian Offenheim sent him a mock design of the app’s layout.

Biderman’s response: “This is really good.”

In Biderman’s defense, it is a clean-format, even if it’s the only thing clean about the entire project.

‘What’s My Wife Worth?’ was never completed, due in large part to it being “horribly developed,” but if it was, you could probably purchase it in the App Store for the price of your wife.

Obviously, these dudes are the scum of the earth but it takes two to tango. Sorry, I meant it takes 37 MILLION to tango. The fact that so many married men (and like six married women) were looking to get some strange does not bode well for my already debilitating commitment issues.

My faith in a lifelong partnership and this whole “love” thing has taken a hit I’m not sure it can recover from. I am now completely content with being that creepy uncle hitting on my nieces friends at her graduation party. Joey Gladstone never had to answer to anyone, and he turned out just fine.

Some birds just weren’t meant to be caged.

[h/t Daily Dot]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.