Here’s Everything People Wished They’d Learned In Sex-Ed Class But Never Did
I can honestly say that I didn’t learn anything in Sex-Ed classes (in Elementary and Middle School) that I couldn’t have learned from movies/TV, friends, and pop culture. My Sex-Ed class probably did a lot to teach us about puberty, but that’s where it ended. We didn’t learn jack shit about sex or what to expect once becoming sexually active, and it turns out I’m not alone in this. Below, a bunch of people shared the things they’d learned after becoming sexually active that they also wished they’d known before having sex (via AskReddit):
Ours wouldn’t give me a straight answer on whether you could get an STD if neither of you had an STD but you had sex. I know it’s a very silly question but I was just a kid and I didn’t know. Saying, “any unprotected sex is unsafe,” is not the correct answer. It was bullshit how weird they were about giving the correct answers.
That most sex is for pleasure, and that only a very small percentage is for procreation.
That you should always pee after sex, to help avoid getting a UTI. I still can’t believe that it was never mentioned.
Oral sex and its existence.
The old ‘went to Catholic school’ here.
I thought that the word ‘oral sex’ is a one way thing only; that it refers to a woman giving a blowjob to a man.
Never crossed my mind that a man can, and should, give their woman some licking down there.
That exists ?
Honestly thought only lesbians do that thing where you swirl your tongue against the vagina in the alphabetical format.
It’s sad that I know of some men who said they refuse to do this to their girlfriend, since for them, it’s disgusting to do, and yet they expect their gf to blow them.
Wish they would have pointed out where the clit is
How genitalia function on a day-to-day basis, what is normal vs what is abnormal. Things like, “vaginal discharge exists and is normal, you haven’t somehow gotten an STD without having sex like some sort of reverse Virgin Mary”. Or “genitalia vary widely in appearance. you’re not a freak”. Or “here’s a basic cleanliness checklist: how to wash your genitals, what not to use to clean them, tips on not getting UTIs”.
Here’s the syllabus by unit:
1. The Basic Biology
An overview of all the anatomical bits, how they fit together, and their evolutionary purposes.
2. Some People Are Gay
You do you, and let other people do who they want.
3. Risks and Rewards
Sexually transmitted diseases, pregnancy, and methods of protecting against each of them.
4. The Anthropomorphic Poop-Bomb
Not only will babies scream, make a mess, and keep you from sleeping, they’ll also suck up all of your time and money, make you utterly miserable, and then tell you that they hate you a decade and a half after they’ve thoroughly ruined your life.
5. Shut Up, Reverend
The only person whose opinion matters on the topic of whether you’re ready to have sex is you.
6. Ready for Recreation
A matter-of-fact discussion of the fact that humans engage in sex mainly because it’s fun.
7. Practicing Pleasure
Tactics and techniques for getting the best out of your banging.
8. Three’s A Crowd
The logistics associated with making sure that everyone in a threesome (or foursome, or whatever) has a good time.
9. Finding Your Fetish
Students will independently research and report on whatever arouses them.
10. How to Find a Date
An in-depth assessment of various methods for finding an interested (and interesting) partner.
11. No, You Are Not In Love (and That’s Okay)
A reminder of the role that hormones and horniness play in attraction.
12. The Essentials of Communication Inside and Outside the Bedroom
Humans are not mind-readers.
13. Breaking Up and Moving On
How to deal with heartbreak.
14. The First Day of the Rest of Your Life
Repeat steps 10-13 indefinitely, or until you find someone you can stand.
Exactly how conception and early pregnancy works. This was the only area I was grossly misinformed about. I learned way too much about it thanks to an interest in IVF.
The egg is fertilized in the fallopian tube, not the uterus.
Sperm can live inside you for up to 6 days so you can conceive a few days after having sex.
It takes about five days for a fertilized egg to go from that tiny 1-cell to when it has so many cells inside that it literally bursts the wall of the egg open (called hatching).
5 days is also how long it takes for an egg to travel through the fallopian tube and arrive at the uterus. Once it “hatches” then it begins to implant into the uterine lining.
Your baby’s gestational age starts with cycle day 1, also known as when your last period started. So technically, you’re 2 weeks further gestationally than the amount of time that tiny embryo has been actually created and abiding inside you.
A pregnancy test will only have a slight chance of being positive after the embryo has been implanted for a couple days. Waiting until the day of your period will give that hormone enough time to accumulate enough to get a positive.
The day of your missed period you are four weeks pregnant, not two weeks pregnant.
I had so much stupid when I first got married and started having sex, convinced I was pregnant after 2 days and wanting a pregnancy test. Plus now I know why the urgent care doc rolled his eyes when I told him I was “probably 3 or 4 weeks pregnant.”
Our course pretty much just taught the basic, boring mechanics of heterosexual, vaginal intercourse and fetal development. Other than that, we got some brief definitions, a warning to wrap up our junk, and a “don’t have sex with all the people” talk. There was a Q&A session at the end where a couple of people asked questions that the teacher wouldn’t answer, and that was it.
It might have saved a lot of us a bit of trouble and pain early on to know some things like what should not be used as lube. Or perhaps that STDs aren’t just transmitted through vaginal intercourse. Hell, one kid asked if it was normal to masturbate every day and the teacher just outright refused to answer because he was told to follow the script and it wasn’t in the book. And from what some of my friends have told me, my presentation was even more comprehensive than theirs.
Pee after sex. That masturbation is okay. Masturbation was never discussed. STDs. STDs were never mentioned, wtf?
And also…don’t stick your dick in crazy.
That you can negotiate how much to pay
Well, I think it’s safe to say that I wasn’t alone in thinking that my Sex-Ed classes from adolesence were complete dogshit. You can keep reading through the AskReddit responses HERE, and they seem to go on and on forever with people complaining about the total lack of sexual education here in America. It’s certainly not the fault of our teachers, they’re being handcuffed by administrations and policies all across America…