How Awkward Is It to Get a Hand Job From Someone New for the First Time?

By 03.12.14

first-hand-job-parody

This video is a parody of the “20 Strangers Making Out for the First Time” video that’s been going viral, but it’s more than that. It’s a really great, or really horrible, reminder of those first times a new girl grabbed a hold of your precious prick and attempted to milk it dry. Let’s face it, the first hand job is going to tell you everything you need to know about that girl.

For me, the video drummed up bad memories. THE WORST MEMORY, really.

It was sophomore year of high school. Her name was Emily. We weren’t dating but we found ourselves in my parent’s basement exploring each other’s body as youths tend to do. She was kind of hot, but her hotness didn’t make up for the fact that she was a terrible kisser and an even worse jerk-er-off-er. Just horrific at pleasuring male genitalia. In fact, the rub job she did to my penis is probably considered torture in most cultures. (Was it really that awful? Put it this way: it took two full weeks before I’d even entertain the idea of whacking off, and even then I wouldn’t touch myself without gobs and gobs of Jergens finest.)  I held in there, though. Oh yes, on that night I let her rip me to shreds until completion, because when you’re 15 and single, you never know when that next, not-self-released load is going to come…

Now that I’ve shared that little slice of personal information. Watch the video.

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