Bachelor Chops Off Penis, Then Cycles to Hospital for Treatment
Here's where the story gets really horrifying. (Because, believe it or not, self-castration isn't as rare as you'd think.) The guy biked to a hospital in agony, presumably doing the stand-'n-ride as much as he could. And when he arrived, doctors told him that they couldn't help him unless they had the penis on hand—so they ordered him to BIKE BACK TO HIS HOUSE to find his member before he could be treated.
He found his dick. He biked back to the hospital again. Doctors then told him, though, that he had lost too much blood and the penis couldn't be saved. The guy is alive, somewhat, after the hellish experience. His buddies have reportedly criticized the hospital, saying if they had provided him with an ambulance, he would have seen his penis saved.
You think? God, these doctors are evil.
[H/T: Daily Mail]