I struggle on a daily basis with my inner fat person telling me to buy a trough and then dump copious amounts of junk food in it and eat like the pig that I want to be. Like there are days I want to buy a 5-pound bag of Peanut M&M’s and just fasten a strap around it and wear it like a feed bag. But I have to fight those Falstaffian urges and eat shit like kale pecan quinoa salad without dried cranberries because it has too much sugar. This bear, he gives into his gluttonous compulsions and does whatever the fuck he wants, including putting his fat head inside of a cheesy poofs container. And god bless him for it.
We take you to Glenwood Springs, Colorado where a bear went so HAM on a cheese balls container that it got stuck on his head. The 2-year-old black bear was seen by locals with the container.
Jim Hawkins, the owner of the Four Mile Creek Bed and Breakfast, saw the poor fella and decided to help the bear. When the bear walked on his property he lassoed the junk food loving beast and took him down. The bear climbed a tree and Hawkins called the authorities.
Carbondale District Wildlife Officer John Groves arrived on the scene and tranquilized the bear, and cut the cheese puff container off of the bear’s head, but not before the bear clawed Hawkins, requiring stitches on his arms.
ICYMI: A bear was spotted near Glenwood Springs with a giant, empty tub of cheese poofs stuck on its head. pic.twitter.com/naQY2OiC3q
— 9NEWS Denver (@9NEWS) July 22, 2016
Do you bear. Don’t let anyone judge you for sticking your head in a container of cheese balls. You’re a true inspiration to me.
[UPI]