Bill Clinton Intern Reveals How Big Of A Playboy Bill Clinton Was In Office And ‘Thirst’ Isn’t A Strong Enough Word

We’re about three weeks removed from hackers breaking into the email of former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs and Secretary of State Colin Powell and finding the greatest email ever sent.

“I would rather not have to vote for her, although she is a friend I respect. A 70-year person with a long track record, unbridled ambition, greedy, not transformational, with a husband still dicking bimbos at home.”

I don’t ask much, but please make sure my gravestone reads, “Got Money, Dicked Bimbos.” Thanks.

We’re all well aware that Bill Clinton was/is thirstier than a dude who just pounded a sleeve of saltines after a bong rip, but in a new book set to be released Tuesday, a journalist sheds even more light on Clinton’s infidelity.

In excerpts from Edward Klein’s new book Guilty As Sin, his fourth book slamming the Clinton’s, the journalist claims Bill Clinton’s private penthouse in the presidential library in Little Rock, Ark. was a breeding grounds for debauchery and….feet rubs?

Klein interviews a 20-something year old intern on her relationship with Clinton.

“He often invites girls like me who work at the library to his apartment for a glass of red wine and a massage,” the intern said in an interview for this book. “He likes his neck and shoulders massaged because he gets knots in his muscles. But what he really likes is to have his feet massaged. He just kicks off his loafers and socks and puts his feet on the coffee table. That really makes him happy.

“Bill is always flirting with the women at the library. He knows everybody by their first name and is incredibly kind and generous. When he talks to you, it’s like you are the only person in the world. I always called him Mr. President, naturally, but one day he looked at me with this horny look and said, ‘Call me Bill.’ I sort of knew then that I was in.

“I know what people would say if they knew I gave him a foot massage. But, hey, if it makes him happy, I’m happy to do it. The idea of touching the president of the United States that way is incredibly exciting to me.” (via New York Post)

Clinton also allegedly inquired about the possibility of building a pool on the roof of a library, which sounds incredible.

“He had an architect give him a feasibility report on building a pool, and it turned out that it would have been very expensive to build and disruptive to the functioning of the library. Anyway, the National Archives, which administers presidential libraries, probably would have vetoed the idea. So he dropped the plan. But for a while, he thought about getting an above-ground pool for the girls to splash around in.

“Bill has a bunch of women he regularly invites to his apartment. Most of them are young and good looking. He loves being surrounded by pretty girls. The place is completely secure, so he knows there’s no chance any photographers can get in.

“I was there at one of his parties on a hot, steamy day. He served champagne and cold beer and handed out roses, which he grows on the terrace and which are named after his mother, Virginia Kelley. At one point, he got out a hose and sprayed some of the girls.

“‘Keep that up,’ I told him, ‘and you’re going to have the first wet T-shirt contest ever held at a presidential library.’ ”

There’s no President in the history of this great nation I’d rather party with that Bill “Dicking Bimbos” Clinton.

[h/t NY Post]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.