Boyfriend Ensures Girlfriend Will Never Cheat By Never Allowing Her To Stop Eating

You Pan was dating way out of his league. Yan Tai was charming, funny, and incredibly adorable. So You Pan, after winning her heart, did the only thing he could to make sure she never left him — he just kept feeding her until she got “too fat” to be attractive to any potential suitors.

In the two years since petite Yan Tai met porky You Pan she’s been treated to three massive meals and non-stop snacks every day – ballooning from 98 pounds to almost double her weight and creating a sort of chastity belt of chubbiness that keeps potential suitors away.

And once she was too big to leave, You Pan – armed with a bouquet made of Ferrero Roche chocolates – popped the question: “Where do you want to eat?” Then he popped the other question, and unfortunately Yan Tai said yes.

Here are some before and after photos of the hopefully unhappy couple.

Now that, my friends, is an asshole. I hope she cheats on him with the tubbier version of himself. Actually, I hope she cheats on him with the richest, best looking, most successful guy in town. And then I hope he eats himself to death in misery.

Then I hope it becomes a Lifetime movie because I need another reason to watch Lifetime.

[via Nobo Feed]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.