Bro Arrested For Trying To Eat His DWI Test Results

Kenneth Desormes, of Greenwich, Connecticut, was stopped for speeding at 5:30 a.m. Sunday. Kenny was drunk, according to cops, so they cuffed him and brought him in.

Cops gave Desormes a breathalyzer to prove their theory correct, and as the results were coming hot off the printer, old Kenny grabbed the papers and tried ingesting them. I’m a bigger fan of pizza after a night of drinking but I’d be willing to give fresh print on paper a try.

Police say Desormes had a blood alcohol level of 0.13% so I’m guessing the results didn’t make it all the way down to Kenny’s tum tum. Desormes is charged with driving while intoxicated, obstructing governmental administration, criminal tampering and a wicked case of the nom noms.

H/T My Fox NY

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Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.