Does it suck he fucked his house up? Yes. Was it pretty much self-inflicted? Yes, which means I don’t feel bad, especially since the beer pong rule that Redditor C_Chivo implements in his home is fucking stupid. Sure I’ve seen it in use before, but never for the end-purpose of hitting someone in the face with a Ping-Pong ball; only for rebounding to score a cheap and easy shot.
This is what you get for being a cranky old fart who doesn’t like air balls.
Please bare with me I’m going on zero hours of sleep about 20 beers and a bad hangover. Plus I’m writing this on my phone because well… My fucking house burned down with everything in it.
Last night (Halloween), my girlfriend who I live with and myself decided to have a Halloween party, it’s Saturday and we normally get fucked up on Saturday anyways so why not drink and dress up.
We have about 15ish people over at our 2 bedroom place and about half were dressed including my girlfriend and my self. I was dressed as Mario and one of my buddy’s dressed as bowzer. Well 4 of us start playing some bp to get our drink on and have a good time. We get a couple games in and the night seems like it’s gonna be a good and long one. Well it was my turn up on the bp table. Myself and a good buddy of mine are on a team vs my girlfriend and bowzer.
Before I go any further, I have a house rule that I made up to stop people from throwing air balls. If the opponent throws and over shoots the table without hitting anything you can catch it and instantly throw it and if it hits the person that air balled in the face that team has to pull a cup from their side.
So Bowzer throws and air balls and instantly catch it and throw a fast ball as hard as I can towards his face. In his drunken stuper he ducks by throwing his ass backwards which in turn bumps the side table with 2 lit Halloween candles. The candles flew around 5 feet straight towards our curtains that my girlfriends grandmother made us.
I saw everything in slow motion. It took for ever it seemed for the candles to land. My butthole puckered so fast I’m surprised it didn’t whistle. Then in less than a second the entire curtain is in gulfed.
Panic mode. I scream, he screams, my girlfriend screams, everyone screams. I rush to get anything that can hold water and start filling it up. It doesn’t help my sink is over flowing with dishes already. I get one pot of water about half way filled and I can tell from the commotion from the other room that things are getting worse and the pot of water isn’t going to help. I take it in the living room and way and dump it on the curtains that have already been pulled down onto the floor. It was at this point I realized that I’ve been living in this house for 8 months and never bought a fire extinguisher. (The house is super old and I’m an army vet so I should know better than to take a chance and not have one) we try stomping out the curtains but it had all ready reached the ceiling before they were pulled down.At that point I grabbed my dog and usher the remaining people out of the house and call 911.
It’s pouring outside, so all of us are standing out in the rain waiting on help as we watch my living room glow like a jackolanturn. Help arrived working 5 or so minutes of calling them probably about 10ish minutes from the whole thing starting. The fire fighters save the back half of the house but the living room and the dining room are fucked.
Regardless of the state of that guy’s house, at least he’s in better shape than this guy trying to fend off a Hammerhead shark in the middle of the ocean:
[Via Reddit]