And here I was all this time thinking I was Bro King. I thought just because I get legless drunk on days ending in ‘y’ and shotgun beers and drunkenly text ex-girlfriends because I long for the tender touch of a woman, that I was The Standard. What a delusional dickbag I was. A classic fool.
I’d like to send my sincerest apologies to Jordan Adams of London.
Jordan and his bros were partying it up in Munich for his brother-in-laws bachelor party when he got separated from his friends. Ok, no biggie. This happens more often than not during a night out with your boys. One of them thinks that the girl who was talking to him simply to mooch drinks off his tab is interested in sexual intercourse, so he goes on a solo suicide mission and ends up at a 7 Eleven taking taquitos to the face. But whatever, cell phones are his lifeline, his link back to the pack.
…unless you’re Jordan Adams and you fall asleep in a luggage compartment of a bus heading to Zurich, Switzerland.
The 33-year-old woke up five hours later and 200 miles away with no money, no passport, and no phone. The only indication he was in a different country was the road signs looked different.
Jordan told the MailOnline,
“I was woken up by all the lights coming on in the luggage hold and the bus driver swearing at me. After stumbling out into this big coach park I kept seeing signs for Zurich and thought “There’s got to be a place in Munich called Zurich. But then I saw the Swiss flags and these amazing views and it was then it dawned on me.”
At this point, Jordan was desperate and sought the assistance of police officers, who were extremely disappointed in him. Just kidding, they laughed their dicks off.
“The police were cracking up when I told them – they said it was like The Hangover.’ They told me to jump on a train back to Munich but then I had the same problem of trying to find the hotel.”
He then used an officers’ phone to contact his wife so she could phone her brother to explain his adventure.
“I said to her ‘Promise you won’t get mad but I’ve got something to tell you.’ She wasn’t best pleased. I can be a bit of a nightmare on a night out but I’ve never done anything like that before. I don’t know why I thought it – maybe it’s because I’m a bit of an idiot – but I’d left my phone, passport and wallet at the hotel because I didn’t want to lose them. All I had on me was cash but I’d spent all that by the time I got separated from the other guys. I tried to get back to the hotel but couldn’t remember the name of it so got kicked out of about three or four different taxis. We even had wristbands on with the address of the hotel in case we got lost but I’d torn that off at some point in the night.”
Taxi drivers’ refusal to take him to his hotel was the reason he ended up in the luggage hold, breathing out a small hole in the freezing cold compartment.
“Eventually I did [get on the train to Munich] and I got a good ribbing from the other guys. We went back to the same club the next night and I couldn’t believe it when I realised we could walk there – it was about 100 yards from the hotel. So I’d gone all the way to Zurich and back just for the sake of 100 yards.”
2015 Bro of the Year official front-runner.
[H/T LADbible]